Mister Mission
In the wake of last week's Mr. Marina competition, one of San Francisco’s other most prominent (and sometimes stereotyped) neighborhoods – the Mission – has joined the charity race with their own match. And can you guess what it’s called? Yep, you got it. Mr. Mission. So what can you expect from this Missionite brouhaha?
These are the guys from the other side of the tracks – not the preppy prom kings – but the bookish wily foxes with the artsy specs and eclectic fashion that may have been overlooked in high school social ranks. Instead of the sailor boy, you’ve got the fixie kid. Instead of plaid shorts, you’ve got rolled-up skinny jeans. And a preference for PBRs over Martinis. You get the gist.
These guys are aware of the Mission stereotypes – they just don’t care about them. The Mission is home, fixie bikes and all. And tonight at the Elbo Room (get your tickets while they last), they plan to strut their stuff to win the superstar title. After all, who wouldn’t want to be a local celebrity, with a Mr. Mission cocktail at Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, an ice cream flavor at Bi-Rite Creamery, and a coffee blend at Ritual?
Years in the Mission: 4
What makes you Mr. Mission?
“I was chosen by the people. I do it for the people.”
Any talents we should know about?
"I can dunk a basketball."
What's your best Mission shenanigans story?
"What are these 'shenanigans' you speak of?"
Your favorite Mission bar:
"Kilowatt. No bullshit bar, mostly no bullshit people."
What's one thing you would change about the Mission?
“It's tight already, no need to keep screwing.”
Years in the Mission: 6+
What makes you Mr. Mission?
“I live and work and create in the Mission; it's where I belong.”
Any talents we should know about?
“I can screen print, make amazing six- or eight-sided paper snowflakes, create interesting and colorful designs,
and can drink as much coffee as the best of them.”
What's your best Mission shenanigans story?
“After living here for
only two months or so, I was invited to a squatters' birthday party. My
studio mates and I walked down Bartlett until we got between 21st and
22nd. We walked through the open door of what looked like a
graffiti-covered abandoned warehouse. But once inside, I discovered that
we were in fact inside the New Mission Theater. There were probably
more than 300 people in the dilapidated film house, some writing with
cans of spray paint and markers, others using the old fire hoses as
swings tied to the balcony. A few bands were playing but hardly anyone
paid attention. I ended up getting lost just walking through all the
open spaces: the projection booth, behind the screen and inside the
dome. A few hours later, the cops arrived and barricaded us inside.
Everyone was freaking out. Eventually, people were able to push the
locked doors open and a flood of human bodies scattered across the
street. People were running in all directions and the cops mostly just
watched us scatter like rats. That was when I realized how truly amazing
the Mission really is.”
Your favorite Mission bar:
“The Uptown. It's the bar closest to my
old studio, The Secret Alley, and the first bar in the city where I
became a regular.”
Your favorite Mission hang-out:
“Faye's Video & Espresso Bar. Two words: The bench.”
What's one thing you would change about the Mission?
“There is such a
unique and diverse population living in the Mission, and I would like
to see people become more engaged in supporting and cultivating our
local culture rather than displacing it.”
Years in the Mission: 4
What makes you Mr. Mission?
“I’m a fixed gear riding, burrito consuming, competitive Skeeball champion.”
Any talents we should know about?
“I’m a classic Skeeball machine restoration expert.”
What's your best Mission shenanigans story?
“After seeing my favorite
band, Cut Copy and getting kicked out of the venue for 'rocking out too
hard,' I decided to express my love for the band by producing my own lip-dub
music video of the song 'Lights and Music' from the streets and
rooftops of the Mission. From that moment on, I was on a mission to meet
the band. Three years and 1,243 Vimeo views later, I had the pleasure
of meeting Cut Copy backstage at the Treasure Island Music Festival. It
all spawned from a man on mission in the Mission.”
Your favorite Mission bar:
“Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, because they have shuffleboard, Skeeball, and an epic backyard.”
Your favorite Mission restaurant:
“St. Francis Fountain, because of the throwback candy and greasy breakfast grub.”
Your favorite Mission hang-out:
“Valencia Street bike lanes, where I spend most of my time.”
What's one thing you would change about the Mission?
“More cupcakes, Skeeball, and bike lanes.”
Years in the Mission: 38
What makes you Mr. Mission?
“In a word: Shakira.”
Any talents we should know about?
“X-treme belly-dancing.”
What's your best Mission shenanigans story?
“This one time, I ate at Taqueria Cancun. For 12 days.”
Your favorite Mission bar:
“Doc's Clock – where players can play.”
Your favorite Mission restaurant:
“The Royal Cuckoo. Yes, this is another bar, but I'm on a liquid diet.”
What's one thing you would change about the Mission?
“More
dispensaries, bowling alleys, and shawl stores. And better-publicized
polling centers.”
Years in the Mission:
"29. I was born and raised here."
What makes you Mr. Mission?
“Everyone knows me and I don't know everyone.”
Any talents we should know about?
“I can out-drink almost anyone and I've never had a hangover.”
What's your best Mission shenanigans story?
“Hmm, there are so
many... The best is the time a guy came in and starting kicking things
over inside the store (Rhea's Deli.) He was kicking over chairs, chip
displays, everything. So I grabbed him – with a store full of customers –
and punched him in the face three times. I guess that knocked him out and I
had to drag him out of the store. While I was doing that, his pants
came off. I left him on the sidewalk, walked back into the store, got
behind the counter and said: ‘How can I help you?'”
Your favorite Mission bar:
“The Phoenix, because I'm like Norm from Cheers in there.”
Your favorite Mission hang-out:
"The Phoenix, again."
What's one thing you would change about the Mission?
“Let's start with world peace.”
