Perk Life

Of all professions, baristas are among the most stereotyped. And that’s especially true in San Francisco, where specialty coffee rules and the caffeine-obsessed will judge a latte on rosetta quality. Even major companies like Samsung will rip on a barista who says he’s “creative.”

San Francisco’s real-life baristas, however, aren’t the typical pretentious tattooed hipsters you think they are. At least not most of the time. Sure, they love, and I mean love, coffee and consume plenty of it – upward of five drinks a day. Most can talk endlessly, whether from over-caffeination or plain enthusiasm, about sustainability and the third wave movement. And yes, beyond their espresso-pulling skills, a lot of them have creative passions like photography and playing music. (Don’t we all?!)

After talking to half a dozen baristas from some of the most prominent coffee spots in the city, what’s clear is that there’s no such thing as a typical barista – no matter how much they’ll joke about being one. What each have in common are great stories, silly secrets, and some useful advice to all you coffee shop frequenters.

Lauren Crabbe, 23
Blue Bottle at the Ferry Building Marketplace

Been there:
Since December 2011. Previously worked at Blue Bottle’s Mint Plaza location since September 2010.

Favorite drink to make:
Latte for here.

What do you do when you’re not at the café?
I write for tech publications, ride my bike, go to yoga, and take photos. I spend time with my husband and hang out in the Outer Sunset coffee shops, like Beachside Coffee Bar & Kitchen. I drink more than I should.

If you weren’t a barista, what would you want to be?
A photojournalist.

Where do you see yourself in five to ten years?
I will either be running my own café or pursuing my dream of photojournalism full time. Most likely the former. If I had my own café, I’d serve espresso and bacon as a thing. Just an espresso with a slice of bacon next to it instead of a biscotti.

What’s something that your customers wouldn’t know about you?
I am a boring old married lady. Every Tuesday I make extravagant, local, organic, bougie food in my kitchen that doesn’t have a microwave. And then I pour myself a nice whisky and watch Glee with my friends from high school.

What’s something you want to tell your customers, but never could?
Get off of your phone! I’m not a robot that makes coffee. I am a human being that likes conversation and eye contact.

Most surprising encounter you’ve had on the job?
Steve Wozniak riding his Segway into the Mint Plaza location. He rode up with three other people and they just rode their Segways into the lobby. It was like watching Angelina Jolie coming up in a limo – it was great to see the tech celebrity thing.

Harold McGovern, 24
Coffee Bar and Contraband

Been there:
8 months at Coffee Bar and 1.5 years at Contraband.

Favorite drink to make:
Straight espresso, for sure.

What do you do when you’re not at the café?
I do a lot of coffee in my off time, actually. I go to coffee shops and talk to other baristas. When I get the time I’ll ride my bike; I’ve been doing that for eight years as a hobby – fixed freestyle is really fun. I rebuild vintage audio gear – drum machines and synthesizers. I sit in the Panhandle Park and relax. Pretty standard San Francisco barista.

If you weren’t a barista, what would you be?
My degree is in audio engineering so it would probably be behind a mixing board.

Where do you see yourself in five to ten years?
Hopefully still working with coffee. Maybe not working behind counters as much, but just kind of working with the concept of coffee. I love to train people and I love to teach.

What’s something your customers wouldn’t know about you?
That I have a degree. Either that or that I actually care so much about coffee.

What’s something you want to tell your customers, but never could?
I wish there was a better way to get customers interested. It would be good to get a new way to get people to ask us questions. I love talking to people all day, that’s why I do it.

Most surprising encounter you’ve had on the job?
Thom Yorke came in one morning and I recognized him, but I wasn’t sure. He has the most intense stutter I’ve ever heard. You wouldn’t know it because he’s such a beautiful singer. And he comes up and he’s like, “I’d like a sss-sss-sss… I’d like a sss-sss-ssoy latte.” It was the strangest interaction I’ve had, in probably ever. In coffee that is. Aside from homeless people coming in and stealing your tip jar.

Name: Julia Lancer, 29
Ritual on Valencia

Been there:
3.5 years.

Favorite drink to make:
Single macchiato.

What do you do when you’re not at the café?
I play music, I play drums. I have a dog, I do dog things. I craft and crochet, a lot of reading, and a little bit of archery.

If you weren't a barista, what would you want to be?
I’m certified in baking pastries, so I would probably be baking.

Where do you want to be in five to ten years?
I wouldn’t mind still doing coffee. I’ve been in coffee since I was 16. Coffee is growing in such a way that it’s not stigmatized as having a crummy coffee shop job; it’s more of a career. Since I’m managing, I wouldn’t mind staying here. I would like to buy a house and own my own business.

What’s something your customers wouldn’t know about you?
I don’t think a lot of customers know that I play music. When we play shows in San Francisco, I’ll have fliers, and they say, “What do you mean a show?” They don’t think I do anything besides this.

Most surprising encounter while on the job?
Just this morning, I asked Eileen [the owner] to remove a vagrant from our café. He shouted at her and called her a PEZ dispenser; it was so funny. Little things like that.

Tony Kincses, 30
Philz Coffee on 24^th Street

Been there:
One year and three or four months.

Favorite drink to make:
The iced coffee mint mojito.

What do you do when you’re not at the café?
I do painting and collage, making canvases out of found materials. I usually have freelance design clients – I went to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh and got my design degree. I sample coffee around town; I’m actually geeky about that.

If you weren’t a barista, what would you be?
I would probably be in public speaking somewhere.

Where do you see yourself in five to ten years?
I still see myself at Philz, probably not as an in-store barista, but still at the company. I’ll probably show my own work a lot more. I see myself doing exactly what I’m doing now, just more of it and at a different level.

What’s something your customers wouldn’t know about you?
I make fine-beaded jewelry, using quarter-millimeter Charlotte beads. And my interest in quantum physics – I am a big dork with that kind of thing.

What’s something you want to tell your customers, but never could?
You’re not being rude – if your drink’s not perfect, please tell us in the café, not your friend outside of the café. My biggest pet peeve is going on my 10-minute break and hearing someone say, “This is way too sweet!”

Most surprising encounter you’ve had on the job?
It would probably have to be when I met Phil. It was my very first day. I was watching the trainer making drinks, and was leaning up really relaxed against the water tower. Phil came up from behind me and smacked me on the back and says, “Yes this is good. You are relaxed. You are at home. You will be here for a long time!”

Alex Powar, 25
Four Barrel

Been there:
8 months.

Favorite drink to make:
Drip coffee.

What do you do when you’re not at the café?
I am hiking or cooking. I spend a lot of time trying to build a community around coffee in SF and the East Bay. I spend a lot of time in farmers’ markets. Based on my science background I’m really interested in the mechanical aspects of food and coffee.

If you weren’t a barista, what would you be?
An astronaut! No… I think maybe in the craft cocktail world. I really enjoy making things for people where I can immediately see whether or not they are enjoying themselves.

Where do you see yourself in five to ten years?
This company is growing very rapidly. We’re opening a new café on Divisadero, but we also have a lot of other projects on the horizon. This is a place where growth is really encouraged.

What’s something your customers wouldn’t know about you?
The fact that I was previously destined for the medical world.

What’s something you want to tell your customers, but never could?
I think a lot of people come in here feeling a little intimidated and a little bit scared, and feeling that we’re too cool and we’re judging them. But it’s very much the opposite of that – we love our customers. I would like people to know that we’re not judging them at all. I’m always down to grab a beer, also.

Most surprising encounter you’ve had on the job?
It was an incredibly crazy and busy Saturday, with a line out the door, people packed in, and it was raining outside. There was an armed robbery at the corner store, and two of the suspects fled the scene and tried to escape through Four Barrel. They came back into the roaster and our head coffee guy said, “No, you guys need to get out of here.” They just sat down next to our other customers hoping that the police wouldn’t catch them. It was such a bizarre thing, and it was so busy we didn’t have time to process the situation. [Ed. note: The police did end up catching the suspects.]

Tayler Mehit, 22
Sightglass

Been there:
Since September 2011.

Favorite drink to make:
Cappuccinos.

What do you do when you’re not at the café?
I like to ride my bike a lot. I like to travel – I just got back from a road trip with a friend of mine going from Chicago to San Francisco, camping all the way. I’m interested in writing. I’m a big crystal collector.

Where do you see yourself in five to ten years?
I think coffee is a really great place for me right now. I’d like to eventually work for a nonprofit.

If you weren’t a barista, what would you be?
A travel guide of San Francisco. I love the city so much and I love showing guests around. Just exploring with other people.

What’s something that customers wouldn’t know about you?
I don’t think most of them know that I’ve done ballet since I was three, and I occasionally teach dance classes for kids. And that I studied political studies in school, and I’m super interested in theoretical texts.

What’s something you want to tell your customers, but never could?
People think baristas are super pretentious, but I think maybe there’s a higher level of OCD going on for a lot of us. I have so much fun working here and all my coworkers are some of the sweetest people I know. Reading Yelp is such a terrible thing to do, because you see all these things that people think of you. I try not to look at it, because sometimes people are really mean and I feel bad if anyone has a bad experience here.

Most surprising encounter you’ve had on the job?
SOMA is an interesting neighborhood, there’s definitely a wide range of people coming into our work and it’s always entertaining. The sink is out in the open so people may try to bathe themselves. But for the most part, it’s the stories that people tell you in a five-minute exchange that are kind of crazy.