As you probably already know, the second season of GIRLS premiered last night on HBO, and while I’m not one to give away any spoilers, I will confess that the new season definitely got me thinking. I started wondering what GIRLS would be like if it took place in San Francisco rather than New York.

While the premise of the show would essentially remain the same – I know enough post-college twenty–somethings who are still supported (at least in part) by their parents and working as interns – there would be some distinct differences if Hannah and her pals lived within the 7x7.

So meet our newly made-over cast of GIRLS in SF:

Hannah and Marnie are recent humanities graduates of California College of the Arts, who moved into a Victorian house together in the Lower Haight, where rent is too high, the walls are too thin, and plastic bags are illegal.

Shoshanna, on the other hand, is an undergrad at USF, and the memorable venue where Charlie sings Hannah’s diary aloud would take place during an open mic night at the nearby Bazaar Cafe. Although to keep parallels with the New York version where Shoshanna lives in Nolita, she could also live in North Beach and still go to USF (in TV things don’t have to be geographically accurate). 

And let's discuss the fashion. Whereas Hannah can dress in the same too-big skirts and tights she would in New York, and Jessa can even keep her boho charm (although maybe the West Coast would add dreads), Marnie would more likely be sporting yoga pants in the Marina or toting her beautifully structured dresses through the Financial District. Also, there would be a lot less heels and lot more flannel and North Face, in general.

Adam would definitely live in the Mission and his best friend Ray would work at the original Philz – although that makes me a little afraid for the sanctity of their coffee when Hannah starts to work there as well.

Someone, I'm not sure who, but someone would have to have a techie boyfriend who works at Apple, Facebook, or Google – you pick.

And who can forget the memorable final scene where Hannah ends up, seemingly, at the end of the world without her purse. For anyone who’s ever fallen asleep on BART you know there is an equal chance that your bag will be stolen and potentially equally frightening situation if you were to end up at the Coliseum BART station in the middle of the night. 

While we’re sure GIRLS could take place in San Francisco, we’re happy to keep the ladies where they are now, in the heart of New York – we have enough gay ex-boyfriends here as it is. Better that their drama remain on that side of the coast where we can watch safely and comfortably from our fog enshrouded city.