The Fancy Food Show is wrapping up today at Moscone Center. It's been a three-day specialty food extravaganza, with over 1,300 vendors hawking their fanciest crap, and I had the pleasure of crashing it. To give you an idea of my culinary skills, the last thing I cooked was a meat loaf – and I messed it up. Since I'm not a person who cares about olive oil virginity and I have a taste for haterade, I enjoyed the weirdest booths with the strangest offerings the most. Here's a list of the items that put the special in specialty foods.
Vodka Matreshka: Normally, filling little girls with vodka is not something I would get behind, but how cute are these cranberry, honey, and pure vodka bottles?
Coco Lite Pop Cakes: There were puffy potato chips everywhere at this year's Fancy Food Show, but Coco Lite's pop cakes are my favorite because they're the closest humans have come to edible plates.
Nongshim Shin Noodle Cups & Cardboard Cut outs of Psy: I thought people would be over Psy by now, but he's actually significantly increased the sales of this spicy ramen since he became their spokesperson in October.
Twiglets: Twiglets are a UK snack food that are named as such because they look and taste like twigs. They're kind of like if Cheetos had a less hot little sister. The man who encouraged me to try these looked at me apologetically and said, "They're good with cheeses?" Justin Beiber and I don't like them.
Bacon Spread: This is exactly what it sounds like – blended bacon that you can spread on things, like other strips of bacon.
Beer Candy: This company's saltwater taffies are made with real beer and taste like a combination of caramel and bad choices.
Pumpable Olive Oil: One olive oil booth showed ingenuity by cutting the crap and putting a pump on their oil. It was slightly disturbing because people didn't know whether to dip some bread in it or massage it into their scalps.