WANTED: Have You Seen This Donkey?

Feb 08, 2013 at 1pm

We were shocked and devastated to hear that the beloved donkey mascot at local Mission watering hole Rock Bar was recently stolen from his rightful home. Who would commit such a horrendous crime? I spoke with bartender Brion Rosch to get the lowdown on the recent donkey-napping.

Image Courtesy of Brion Rosch

How did the donkey become the mascot of Rock Bar?

The donkey has been with the bar from day one. It appeared alongside the first cocktail we photographed and has been in each photograph since. This little donkey's fame soars far beyond that of our modest and skilled bartenders.

Wait. So, does the donkey have a name?

No name, for now just Missing.

Okay, when did Missing go missing?

Last Wednesday evening, we believe. (January 30)

Are there any potential suspects?

I wish we could say there was. The suspect was most likely intoxicated and found the joy so many others have found in this magical donkey. Yet rather than leaving him behind for many in the neighborhood to enjoy, the suspect's intoxication may have led him to believe that the donkey should go home with him. (Believe it or not this seems to happen in bars often).

What will you and Rock Bar do if the donkey never returns?

That is not an option at this point. 

What are your favorite memories with Missing?

The memories are endless. For now we can only admire him from afar on Instagram or Facebook.

And do you have any final words you would like to say to the man or woman who stole your beloved donkey?

Please return our donkey.

As we approach our first year anniversary we would love to be reunited. No questions asked, as we said before we never judge innocent drunk decisions and only rarely do we judge actual drunks.

Hear that donkey-napper? You won't even be judged. So just return the damn donkey. Rock Bar plans to have their One Year Anniversary Donkey Party on March 21 this year. And a donkey party can't be a DONKEY party without a donkey (duh!). 

Just look at that sweet face. Don't you want to give him back to his mummy?

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