This is possibly the best Craiglist job posting ever, and not in the creepy crazy-person-with-strange-fetish-got-ahold-of-a-computer kind of way. In fact, the poster's desperate plea for a "emotionally moving descriptive writer" actually makes me want to help the poor guy out. Unfortunately, I don't have a degree in hyperbole. 


The ad – posted May 5– may have been the result of a boozy Cinco de Mayo (emotional drunks really shouldn't be allowed near technology) but something tells me that this guy is actually for real. In which case, I feel the need to warn him that searching for someone who believes "that the world still has good, caring people in it" in one of the most jaded cities in the nation, probably isn't a good idea. 

As for the "highly personalized services," which he offers women and need to be so beautifully described – what are they? I am burning with curiosity. I'm tempted to reply to this person (or people? – who is "we") just so I can find out. Or if you answer this call, please let me know. 

Not surprisingly, this isn't the first time that strange SFers have made headlines for their even stranger Craigslist ads. In 2011, some douchebag from the Mission was dubbed the "Holiday Boyfriend" for his chivalrous advertisement requesting someone to have relations with just for the holiday season. 

"Deep down inside, you don't want to be alone for the holidays. [...] But, you've spent all year working on your career/training for charity bike rides/getting drunk and haven't had the time or inclination to track down and capture a boyfriend." 

What a catch. 

In the same year the self-dubbed "Best Roommate Ever" entertained the Internet with his colorful post trying to convince someone in SF to rent him a room. The ad began, "Konichiwa bitches. Are you looking for the most kick-ass fucking roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You fucking found him." 

Finally, last year, SF blogger Maneesh Sethi actually hired someone off Craiglist to slap him in the face every time he tries to use Facebook while working. 

Only in San Francisco ...