Things that were uniquely San Francisco in this episode: having a party at Dolores park, pretending it's fun to go to Dolores park, talking to people you see on GRINDR instead of messaging them, filling a piñata with diapers and wigs instead of candy, having an argument at Dolores park where everyone can see you, drinking alcohol with 'Honey Boo Boo' in the title, asking your friends not to tag you on Facebook because you're skipping out on another event, inviting a sex worker to a birthday party at his hourly rate, videotaping a sad, sad threesome.

On this episode of Everyone Hangs Out at Dolores Park, everyone hangs out at Dolores park, even Patrick's boss and his boyfriend who looks exactly like a young Tate Donovan. (Swoon.)


Patrick and Richie are a couple! They're going steady and there's even a pin (okay, an escapulario) to make it official. Except it's a little more complicated than it appears, because Patrick's not sure he's into the escapulario business but he's really trying to be into it, it's just all moving so fast, you know? One second Patrick and Richie are at the planetarium talking about bottoming, and the next they're in a serious relationship and wearing matching charms and Patrick's already pushing Richie to do better with his life (based on Patrick's idea of what that should be) and this just isn't going to last. Not because they're two fish from different ponds, but because they've gone from casual to serious way too quickly and someone is going to have a freak out real soon. (Probably, Patrick.) (Come on, you know it's going to be Patrick. He's already standing in his bathroom naked contemplating what he's just gotten himself into.) (Sorry, Richie.) But all of that is later, right now Richie is meeting all of Patrick's friends at Dom's birthday party and trying to make it work while being judged mercilessly by everyone around him.

Speaking of which:

Agustin is awful as usual, except even more so because he's just lashing out at everyone in this episode. Agustin is like that one friend that you'll talk to every couple of months because you don't know why you don't hang out as much as you used to. And then you meet up and realize it is because they are a giant asshole who will straight up insult your new relationship in public. Which is what Agustin does.

Here's the thing; Agustin doesn't appear to be a particularly bad person, he just doesn't know how to turn things inward and is not self-aware (hence the sex worker art piece which he thinks is brilliant and not just an entree into sleeping with said sex worker). Therefore, he just claws at other people. Richie makes him feel uncomfortable? Great! Instead of thinking about why, Agustin immediately suggests that Patrick is slumming, bringing Richie to the party to prove something to everyone. (What that thing is is anyone's guess. Is it that Patrick can have a boyfriend? Because that seems like a thing a lot of people would be proud to let everyone know.)

Agustin tries to drown his sorrows by engaging in a threesome with both Frank (the boyfriend) and CJ (the sex worker) but learns a bitter lesson about group sex when he realizes that CJ and Frank are way more into each other than they are to him. Damn, Agustin is getting all his comeuppances this episode and he is hating the taste of his own medicine (and mixed metaphors)!

Dom is now officially 40 and his birthday party was great! He's also falling for investor Lynn, who's trying to keep business business, although both Doris and I think Lynn is a great match for Dom. I'm torn on this because on the one hand, I want Dom to find himself someone to love; on the other hand, I want Dom's ridiculous business to take off and I'm afraid that Dom and I have basically the same amount of financial knowledge (Which is none). Lynn, we need you! Please never go!

Doris continues being the best.

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