In yet another sign that the world is about to come to an end, you can now rent a tent in Berkeley for $700/month — or $175/week, if your camping plans are shorter-lived. [Update: it appears the post has been flagged for removal]. Never mind the fact that you can pitch a tent in the nearby Marin Headlands for free, or that only one person can sleep in this neoprene backyard bungalow (the bathroom “simply can't handle 2 more people”).
So, inspired by this housing offer, here are some other places you can rent in the Bay Area for the low, low price of $700/month — utilities, of course, not included.
Space under pretzel kiosk in Financial District. Tenant must be no more than twelve centimeters thick at widest point. Deep breathing not permitted so as not to hoard pretzel smell — violators will be fined $20. Free mustard. Up to three tenants may share the space.
Bedroom in Lower Pac Heights. One bedroom available in three-bedroom home. Technically it used to be a dishwasher, but if you crouch the right way, you can sleep really comfortably. BONUS: The drain is still there, so you can pee in bed! Call for more details. No drama.
Large Noe Valley apartment. Okay, who am I kidding? You'll be taking care of my kids; two four-legged ones and two human ones. What? Don't look at me like that. I can't get my daily Boulanger fix with these beasts hanging all over me. I don't know, you can sleep in that stroller.
Kennel in Outer Sunset. Our beloved Great Dane passed away a few months ago. Lucky for you, he was huge! This kennel is practically its own bedroom, which is good, because you'd have to stay in it all the time. You can use our gourmet chef's kitchen from 1-2 a.m., and there's a doggie door to the backyard to do your business.
Image from Craigslist