By The Bold Italic
Fellow San Franciscans, it's raining again. This means that if you take public transportation anywhere in the city, that bus will likely be crowded, wet, and very humid. In order to make your journey around rainy San Francisco more pleasurable, we offer a few wet weather Muni tips.
*Stand far away from puddles as the bus approaches.
*Shut your umbrella before the bus arrives.
*Move as far back on the bus as humanly possible.
*Hold your flatulence until you've exited the bus, as the windows will all be closed.
*Consider walking to an earlier stop if yours is especially crowded.
*Leave giant, wet backpacks on your back so they might box other people in the face.
*Bring the rain showers with you – drippy umbrellas go at your feet.
*Wear vintage wool unless there's no other choice – otherwise that burnt barnyard smell is all you.
*Leave wet objects (umbrellas among them) on the seat for others to sit on – it's challenging enough in this city to identify the origin of seat puddles.
This has been a CSA – Common Sense Announcement