By Rhea St. Julien

San Francisco is notorious for losing people to the ‘burbs once they have children. However, there are plenty of us parents holding on because we love the shit out of this city and consider the pros of urban parenting to greatly outweigh the cons.

Nobody likes a complainer, but I’m risking doing a little of that by laying out some very San Francisco parent problems my friends and I have faced. Feel free to add yours to this list in the comments.


Your child wants a hip-hop-themed birthday party, but all your rapper friends have shows in NYC that weekend.


If your baby develops a beard phobia, they’re forced to face that fear a thousand times a day.


You ponder how many times it’s safe to hear the Music Together hit “Jumping Josie?”


When you get angry at your child, she parrots back coping mechanisms that you’ve given her. (If you think that’s a good thing, you’ve never experienced the patronizing feeling of having a three-year-old school you on deep breathing techniques.)


You find yourself having to strictly enforce a no headbanging rule at the dinner table.


Your kid technically lives in a closet, and you figure that will be fine, until they are old enough for Harry Potter.


You’re stuck in traffic with your family during Santacon, where a public flogging demonstration leads to a lot of unanswerable questions from the kid about Ol’ Saint Nick.


Applications to high school take more time than an early admission application to Yale.


Your kid turns to a complete stranger on BART and says, "I'm not a big brother because that's a choice my parents are making."


Invariably, the only person who gets up for your big pregnant belly to sit down on the MUNI bus has just peed in their seat.

Image from Thinkstock