By Jules Suzdaltsev

San Franciscans love to brag; our burritos are unbeatable, we’ve got the highest minimum wage in the country, and nothing’s better than that picturesque view. But sometimes our fair city falls just short of absolute perfection, and someone else snags the crown – or, as punk supergroup The Adolescents put it in “No Friends,” “I hear San Francisco’s second best.” 

Here are the categories where San Francisco doesn’t rule the roost – maybe we should take a moment to humble ourselves.

Best City For Female Entrepreneurs

Who’s First: Washington D.C.

What, Why? Nearly a third of businesses in San Francisco are owned and run by women, and on average they make the highest full-time salaries in the country; so if you’ve got ladyparts, an interest in business, and hate politicians, you belong in the Bay.

Most Expensive Introductory Rent

Who’s First: Williston, North Dakota

What, Why? Despite the influx of techies blowing rent prices through the roof, Williston happens to have the only thing more valuable than a promising start-up: oil. The introductory price for a 700ft one bedroom apartment is about $2,400 a month, compared to San Francisco’s $1,800. 

Walkability & Public Transit

Who’s First: New York City

What, Why? Despite San Francisco’s vibrant pedestrian culture, our steep hills and long blocks are an inconvenience for even the most seasoned walkers. Even though our Chinatown ranks a perfect score, NYC still beat us out by four points. And public transit is terrible everywhere, so this is actually really surprising considering that our slogan isn’t “Transit Second.”


Who’s First: Portland, Oregon

What, Why? Getting around San Francisco is a geographical paradox – everywhere is too far to walk, yet too close to take the bus, and a car? Forget about it. As crazy as we are about bikes, we’re nowhere near Portland’s Amsterdam-like biking culture. They’ve even got a statue in the city center made out of bicycles.

Wage Inequality

Who’s First: Atlanta, Georgia

What, Why? Atlanta’s gap is the result of being ultra-poor, and although the richest San Franciscans only make about 20% more than the richest Atlantans, the poorest SFers made a whopping 30% more than their poor counterparts in the ATL.

Population Density of Principal Cities

Who’s First: New York City

What, Why? Population growth tends to rely on immigration and San Francisco has neither the affordable housing nor the variety of industry to attract the newly arrived masses compared to the East Coast. Screw those ass-to-ankles New Yorkers though.

Super Bowl Wins

Who’s First: Pittsburgh Steelers

What, Why? Twenty years ago, the San Francisco 49-ers won their fifth and most recent Super Bowl championship, a record that’s tied with the Dallas Cowboys. Maybe we’d have won another, but the late '90s saw some heavy mismanagement of player contracts and sale of the team.