Anthony Bourdain once said, “Good food and good eating are about risk.” I identify with that statement, and strive to go through life with my mouth open, damn it! And so thus I ate every new Lay's flavor featured in the Do Us A Flavor contest, so you don’t have to. The contest features four new varieties, each dreamed up by people like you and me (hell, one guy is from Modesto) and eaters can vote on social media for which one they’d like to see join Lay's permanent rotation. The taste combos ranged from good (Wasabi Ginger) to bad (Cappuccino) to ugly (the unexpectedly vile Mango Salsa) but we think they could really be original by going with these very San Francisco Lay's flavor suggestions:
Sourdough Clam Chowder
A sourdough bagel chip coated with a light clam-y dust. Dip into actual clam chowder and enter the world of Chipception, wherein your top may or may not spin forever.
Mission Burrito Chip
Massive tortilla chip that tastes like crispy carnitas, creamy guac, and extra green sauce. Please note that the purchase of this chip will be cash only. Also the folks at Papalote will likely combine this with the chicken and waffle chip any day now.
This one would only be $3 and come with a whiskey shot. Enough said.
Pour Over Coffee
Served mostly in the Haight/Mission/SOMA by men with luscious beards. See also the fattier Bulletproof version.
With ramen festival lines running around the block, San Franciscans are owed another way to consume this sweet, cheap meal. Bonus points if you combine this flavor with the Sriracha chip and extra bonus points if you eat it in your underwear in a dirty kitchen and then don’t wash your plate.
And they combined chocolate with the salt and lo they saw that it was good.
This chip can be delivered via Uber –esque services to everyone with a card and a slight cough. These chips are the question and the answer to all of your needs. Best eaten huddled around drums in Dolores Park.
The Faint Smell Of Pee
The most local of the flavors, this chip can be found South of Market, in Ingleside, and downtown, with its main distributor being the Tenderloin.