Hot diggity! Strap yourselves in, because this clickbait listicle is about to mansplain everything you need to know about the baller new collection of words being added to Oxford Dictionary. YOLO!

Every so often, one of the two big dictionary companies, Merriam Webster or Oxford, attempts to maintain the most basic level of relevance by adding a few hip, new words, in what always feels more like an attempt to recapture a younger audience than a methodical exploration of the evolving nature of language.

A majority of the newly minted words are perfectly tailored to describe and encompass day-to-day life in the new San Francisco reality we’ve built for ourselves. Here are some of my favorite new sentences that no longer contain any slang. Again, you can use these words on the SAT, or in a job interview, they’re official. Amazeballs.

“Did you binge-watch that anti-vax documentary series? SMH, it was a hot mess.”

Trigger warning on that subtweet! It’s a neckbeard mansplaining how he doxed someone trying to catfish him with fake side boob. #pogonophobia #beardsaregross”

WDYT guys, should I get an e-cig or a vape? Screw it, I’ll just get a zonkey.”

ICYMI, Facebook is looking to acquihire that hexacopter start-up, just for their in silico flight models!”

“Not to humblebrag, but I’ve been a cord cutter for a long time now. Some call it douchebaggery, but really my cable box is just bricked. FML.”

Spit take! Those fratty dudes just bro hugged, doncha think that’s adorbs? I’m going to live-tweet this.”

Luckily, if you feel like irrelevant slang pandering is too low-brow for you, Scrabble has accepted a bunch of new words to make playing with your smart friends even more frustrating! With 5,000 brand new obscure referential entries, including words like te, gi, and mojito, you’re guaranteed to spend hours of fun shouting “challenge!” and “bullshit!” time and time again!

Geocache also made it on the list of new Scrabble words, having been voted in via Facebook contest back in May. The concept that we can crowdsource game rules is equal parts terrifying and thrilling. Perhaps by this time next year we can get “ratchet” and “schmoney” into a legal document, clearly the onus is on us.

[Via ABC News, Huffington Post]

Photo by Martinak15

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