Is your 1978 Mustang II looking a little caked with dust from a long drive back from Nevada right now? Does your Tesla Model S appear to be thoroughly coated, inside and out, with the skin cells of Gaea herself? If so, there is a business running a special that’s ideally suited to meet your needs, advertised by one of the most only-in-SF signs ever.
While the “BURNING MAN CAR: $60” notice at Divisadero Touchless Car Wash may read to some people who’re only just now re-entering capitalism as though some carefree soul wishes to sell his or her vehicle for the same price as Mediterranean or Baltic Avenues, it’s actually just a deal on a thorough cleaning. Re-acclimating to reality is harsh.
But you have to be practical sometimes. It might be bittersweet to power-wash away your Playa cred, and possibly some memories of composting your own night soil along with it, but that shit is seriously never going to come off otherwise unless you wait for El Niño. If $60 sounds like a lot, it’s probably less than you spent on ice or puffy paint, and it’s actually $5 less than the Super Express Combo at Tower Car Wash on South Van Ness.
Be aware that the service is purely cosmetic; as the sign says, “We DO NOT open the hood and clean engines or ventilation systems.” So if your car is running kind of funny because there’s maybe a top hat stuck in the serpentine belt that’s shedding sequins under the idler pulley, you should probably hit up the dealership.
Photo of BM cars by Riff Raff via Flickr; car wash photo by Ryan McDermott