I recently stumbled across the new app, Boatbound which the founder explains as an Airbnb for boats. As cool as it would be to rent a yacht, apps like Boatbound seem at least slightly less inventive since they are based off already successful app formulas. To be fair, sometimes tech reporters unfairly smack the label of "Yelp for Dating" on apps like Lulu because those kinds of comparisons require less mental effort, but the majority of apps do seem less novel.
Although I'm not sure if every Angry Birds requires a follow up like Bad Piggies, some spin-offs (Frasier) are way cooler than their predecessors (Cheers), I think some new takes on well-known apps have the potential to be awesome. I've always thought app ideas are like farts: everyone is fond of their own, but most of them stink. With that in mind, here are my top 10 fantasy knockoff apps:
1. Paypal for Sexual Favors
How many times have you won a bet and never received your rightful BJ? Online reminders could totally help.
2. Find My Exes
I don't really care about finding my friends. I really just want to know if my exes are within a five mile radius when I need to get my mustache waxed or when I generally look like complete shit.
3. IMDB for Amateur Porn
I know you can find some movies in the Adult genre, but how long do I have to wait for a more comprehensive database of horrible home movies? It would be so nice to be able to fact check rumors of high school friends' new careers with this.
4. Fruit Ninja with the faces of my enemies
There are a lot of people I want to cut. If this app existed, the streets would be safer for all of you.
5. Tumblr to be viewed in public
I've made the mistake of following too many NSFW tumblrs and now I can't really open the app in any shared space. After an especially awkward airplane ride, I would appreciate a version of Tumblr sans nipples that would be OK to browse on the bus.
6. Lyft for Piggyback Rides
Sometimes I just want someone with a pink mustache to come over and give me a piggyback ride to froyo. I didn't say I was a good person.
7. Twitter for Skywriting
There is a really bad joke about Cloud storage in here. I have no idea if flying in the shape of an at symbol will make pilots barf, but let's find out!
8. Draw Something: Cards Against Humanity style
If the game isn't going to give you any colors to work with, the subjects could at least be more entertaining. Now when I guess labia, people won't think I'm as weird.
9. Words with Friends with mandatory Snapchat reactions
I want to see your face when you see me get a double word bonus. I also want you to see my face when you play bullshit words like "xi." Shame on you.
10. Bejeweled with Fruit Gushers delivery
Bejeweled looks like Gushers to food-obsessed people like me. There are tons of delivery apps right now and I see no reason why a delivery for Gushers shouldn't be automatically ordered every time I start playing, or at least as a reward when I win.
Let's get on this, San Francisco.