The Blog

James Franco at a recent book signing in Palo Alto. Image courtesy of Laura Soriano

Sometimes famous people are not satisfied just being famous for one reason. When this happens they often call in some reinforcements and decide to dip their toes in the lapping author-y waters. Since being an actor, reality star or celebutaunt comes so easily to them, becoming an author is the next logical career choice. Many choose to write what they know, which means they, usually along with a ghostwriter or two, pen their own autobiography. Some of these, life Keith Richard’s story Life or Betty White’s If You Ask Me (And I’m Sure You Won’t) make for compelling reading. While many others, including Vanilla’s Ice’s 1991 memoir Ice by Ice, are not as well received by the public. Lucky for us the is no shortage or ego amongst celebrities and this simple fact let’s us know that the insane celeb autobiography will never go out of style. If celebrities want to write but don’t have it in them to go for a full chapter-book, they tend toward children’s stories. John Lithgow, Jamie Lee Curtis, Julianne Moore and Billy Crystal have all enjoyed success as children’s authors. However, a few brave celebs have taken the plunge into full-blown fiction writing often times with hilarious consequences. With Goodreads.com as our guide, we take a look at some of the worst (best?) in celebrity-penned fiction.

Civic Hero is a new app from Accela that aims to make do-gooding easier. We all know San Franciscans love letting other people know about their problems so this fun and easy way to report excessive noise, busted streetlights, or whatever is pissing them off at the moment seems like a good fit for SF citizens. A lot of folks complain about things like potholes or leaky fire hydrants, but don't formally report them because the process takes too long or they just don't know how. 

The Civic Hero app allows people to send pictures and comments about the problems they'd like to report from their phones as soon as they see them. Of course if you just want to report cool street art to your friends, you can always use the new 1AM Mobile App. Either way, I think most of us can agree that any quicker ways of reporting information can only improve our city.

After automatically sending your report to the appropriate agency, the Civic Hero app will also track the issue for you. The app also serves as a place for dialogue via comments about issues reported by neighbors. This app may never be able to replace the human interaction that comes with dialing 311, but if you're looking for a way to take good care of your city with minimal effort, this is an app worth downloading. Let us know if you've tried it out!

SWOON and The Bold Italic have found your SWOON local guys of the day. SWOON is available on both Android and Apple, so it has thousands of faces to browse.

Name: Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart (@brokeassstuart)

Neighborhood: I call it The Smission. I'm right on the SOMA/Mission border. I guess technically I'm in SOMA by a block. This means I'm a grown-up now since I no longer live in the Mission (**Whispers** I'm not really a grownup)

Gig: That's certainly the question isn't it? I'm a freelance writer (The Bold Italic, 7x7, Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, etc.) an author (buy my most recent book!), a TV host, and a party thrower. Plus I bartend because being a writer doesn't really pay very well.

What's your favorite place to pick up women?: Pretty much any place but a bar. Most of the time people are either too guarded or too drunk in bars. It's so much nicer meeting women in places where there's not a hundred drunk idiots slobbering on them. I met my first love on the 71 bus, and my second one at Power to the Peaceful in Golden Gate Park. Luckily I'm pretty gregarious so I meet people fairly easily.

Where's your go-to date place? I often bring women to Spec's on a first date. It's a good litmus test. If they don't dig Spec's, they probably don't like lots of things that are awesome.

Where would you have your last meal on earth?: That's a tough one! Am I allowed to say something that's not in SF (SF food snobs just shit their pants when I said that huh?)? There's a Vietnamese place in San Diego called Phong Trang that basically fries a whole lobster and then puts it in what I call Magic Sauce. It's pretty spectacular. I've always said it was my death row meal, so let's go with that.

Who's your favorite quintessential local character?: Frank Chu, the 12 Galaxies guy. I love his dedication to trying to warn us about whatever the fuck is happening with the 12 Galaxies. Every time I see him I say, "Give 'em hell Frank!" You should too. It should be a thing that we all do.

What would you change about SF?: I'd make it so that the rents weren't so ridiculous and all the good people that have helped make San Francisco the amazing place that it is, weren't being shaken out by greedy landlords. I'd also want there to be a solution to our homeless problem. My heart breaks every day in this city when I see the broken people who live on the street.

What are you up to these days?: Lately I've been doing some really cool events. I'm doing a weekly Wednesday happy hour called Color Me Badd. It's so amazing! It's '90s slow jams, coloring books, cheap drinks, and free bar food! There's nothing like watching someone color in a page from a Ninja Turtles book while signing along to "I'll make love to you" by Boyz II Men.

I'm also doing a monthly party called Freaky-Deaky Friday. It's the fourth Friday of the month and it's a costume box party! We have free sandwiches from Ike's, kick ass dance tunes, and a box full of costumes you can put on. You don't have to wear one if you don't want to, but you can also pick the best shit out of your costume box at home and wear it to the party.

Download Swoon on iOs or Android

Swoon finds cool people nearby who are interested in you and lets you chat if you like them, too. It's anonymous until you both like each other.

I've known bacon to do a lot of things – mend friendships, cure hangovers, and even walk seven miles through San Francisco – but I've never known it to lead to the death of a restaurant. And before this weekend, I didn't think it possible for anyone to complain about the mouth-watering aromas that come from fresh fried bacon. 

But some Upper Haight residents obviously don't feel the same way. Bacon Bacon – the brick and mortar cafe located at 205A Frederick Street – was forced to shut down on Friday after neighborhood residents complained about the smell of bacon constantly being emitted from the space. 

Excuse me? Did you just complain about bacon? From a restaurant called BACON BACON? 

Locals also accused the eatery of disposing of grease in the gutter, and when the police responded they found that the restaurant lacked the proper health permits to continue operating. Bummer. 

Thankfully, someone else think it's ridiculous that pot heads in the Haight want their local cured pork supply to stop. Saturday Night Live ribbed San Francisco during Amy Poehler's surprise appearance in the "Weekend Update." She quipped, "It'll be really tricky to walk up to a cop and complain that something smells like bacon." 

Nor is everyone willing to idly sit by while Bacon Bacon is persecuted. Avid fans have already begun fighting back, launching a petition and voicing their grievances on the restaurant's Facebook page (In the meantime, you can still enjoy Bacon Bacon via its roving food truck).

After all, bacon might just be the beginning, what are they going to take from us next? Donuts? Pizza? 

The horror.