Contributors

Jon Korn

does not want to be that guy

Mischa Nachtigal

Matthew Iribarne

Michelle Tea

Writing about the domestic life. Sort of.

Jennifer Maerz

is an urban beach bum

The Bold Italic

Suzanne Barnecut

Amanda Durbin

wants to go to there.

Kaitlin Chamberlain

Chin Lu

Because oversharing is my thing

Raquel Cool

Stephanie Block

So call me maybe! Or Stephanie...

Abby Wilcox

what we think, we become

Wendy Steiner

read your comment.

Rebecca Pederson

is six feet tall

Jessica Saia

Broke-Ass Stuart

has probably had worse lifetimes

Sarah Medina

Shideh Etaat

be.here.now.

Jeremy Brooks

Mat Sletten

Don't name your dog Olaf - it's taken.

Debbie Hampton

loves you

Caleb Garling

wonders what would happen if

Kelly Malone

is Martha Stewart meets Alice Cooper

Randy Scott Hyde

Always Winin', Smilin', and Profilin'

Rachel Filipinas

Chooses her words carefully.

Tienlon Ho

could eat a crab this big

Chris Holt

can brunch with the best of them.

Sara Faith Alterman

puts the ass in sass

WEREHAUS

San Francisco-based creative studio

Rachel Balik

Didn't mean it like that

Oakland Local

Tina Hardison

Nicole Grant Kriege

knows the secret in the secret sauce

Peter Lawrence Kane

I've been to 25 of the 59 national parks and will get to them all by age 40!

Christy Chan

is on permanent sabbatical

Chloe Schildhause

is voguing on the streets

Katie J.M. Baker

is Googling you right now.

Matt Bloom

might not call you back, but he loves you.

Sarah Verena Kleinman

can’t help but stare

Dave Gordon

is looking at you looking at him.

tk

Amity Bacon

would like to meet that dad

Kayoko Akabori and Yoko Kumano

UMAMI FOR LIFE!

Tony Bravo

Eve O'Neill

in vino veritas

Nikki Roddy

aspires to be a fancy lady

Don Wu

Lauren Smiley

wonders where this is all going.

Chaz

Fiercely protective of the people and places I love.

Tom Kubik

has a phobia of the persistent smell of maple syrup

Molly DeCoudreaux

dreams through a viewfinder

Lauryn McCarthy

is mobilizing people and keeping it local

Summer Sewell

Lou Bustamante

Margo Moritz

thinks it's a good sign

Sarah Rich

knows how to keep a secret

Scott Mason

likes blank canvases

Drew Hoolhorst

has a black belt in feelings

Alanna Hale

is hungry. Again.

Crystal Sykes

50% Charles Bukowski, 50% Beyonce

Kirstin Jackson

Grant Marek

is gonna take pollution down to zero

Helen Tseng

an anagram for gentle hens

George Chen

Lauren Sloss

will have thirds, thank you.

Dan Rosenbaum

puts sriracha in his cereal.

Anisse Gross

forgot the words to this one

Ali Hart

makes a great fourth impression

Amy Harrity

Eric Slatkin

thinks slap bracelets are so 2027

Aida Mollenkamp

Make Every day Delicious

Joseph Schell

loves peanut butter and banana sandwiches

Sam Harnett

recycles other people's trash

Mariah Gardner

likes being lost at sea

Gretchen Schrafft

hopes it's all downhill from here

Morgan Fitzgibbons

thinks resilience is an attitude

Emily Turner

puts the 'fun' in dysfunctional

Ivan Cash

I am typing as you read

Stephanie Foo

cuts hoodlums and tape

Cameron Mueller

Indhira Rojas

Bucky Sinister

Bucky is a self-help author, comic, and poet

Sarah Sung

Katie Conry

is big in Japan

Tara Ramroop Hunt

is desirous of everything at the same time

Kelly O

Still listens to Slayer

Brian Standeford

is unnaturally sweaty

Chloe Newsom

"A true friend stabs you in the front." - Wilde

Timothy Herb Belrose

told mama what you did in the Let 'er Buck Room

Jake Swearingen

Jake Swearingen lives in Los Angeles.

Jessica Gao

Katie Tandy

is a sandtrap where anyone and anything interesting is encouraged to stop by and stay forever.

Rachel Hammel

wants both

Leigh Cuen

is a domesticated bookworm

Carol Vaziri

has not slept since 2004

Michelle Zaffino

swears she doesn't have a stunt double

Helena Price

is hunting for new skills

Allie Pape

can't keep it to herself

Ninna Gaensler-Debs

has viking blood in her veins

Erin Conger

has a headache from trying to be clever.

Rebecca Huval

will reincarnate as a fat cat in a bookstore

Jen Corbett

is running on sugar

Laura Beck

jumps out of cakes. and then eats them

Emily Savage

is just a minor threat

Sara Bernard

would rather be outside

Allan Hough

can't help having a good time

Jenn Pries

is freezing

Alexandra Farias

likes spicy tacos!

Jesse Hirsch

is losing his edge

Mat Rick

is hipper than a hipster being hip

Justine Quart

will steal your lunch, then review it

Marc Dantona

will make things happen

Nic Buron

likes to eat, drink, and be merry

Alexandra Chang

and Muni are frenemies

Mark Lukach

is stoked out of his mind

Anthony Bedard

Loss-leader economics for the new stagflation.

Leona Frey

Is giving it 110%. About 10% of the time

Taylor Wiles

is all ears

Em Gift

a lady that does whatever she wants

Andy Wright

Fun intended.

Joshua Cobos

sure plays a mean pinball

Ike Shehadeh

will make sandwiches for food

Eloise Porter

thinks every hour is happy hour

Jackson Scarlett

can't believe they let him get this far

Noah Sanders

is wet-mouthed with anticipation

Ilana Diamond

is watching you

Anna McCarthy

is fueled by tacos

Brian Lam

is heat seeking, cold resistant, water insistent

Hanna Quevedo

is good enough

Hanah Snavely

is just sayin' words

Monica Miller

doesn't believe in pants.

Chris Atwood

is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

Anna Acquistapace

will climb that tree

Marion Anthonisen

collects zebra socks

Sarah Han

loves your dog

Valerie Luu

plays with her food

Ethan Kanat

will be staying out late tonight

Sophia Lorenzi

wants a cookie

Bertie Pearson

is more priestly than Jason

Beth Pickens

is, above all else, a Capricorn

Justin Juul

ain't no goddamn sunuvabitch

David Franklin

knows a thing about a thing or two

Camper English

is nerding and glurging

Sarah Gagnon

has a bad liver and a broken heart

Chelsea Hogue

Kristen Philipkoski

is searching for the perfect platform

Rachel Glassberg

is good on paper

Tania Rohan

isn't so sure

Melisssa Tan

wouldn't have it any other way.

Heidi Anspaugh

preaches the gospel of "fuckit"

Jordan Kushins

should probably write that down

Kristin Smith

is climbing something taller than herself

James Nestor

says ambition is the last refuge of failure

Elia Varela Serra

can curse in a dozen languages

Tamara Barak Aparton

dances with dogs

Wendy MacNaughton

is your MF'ing SF illustrator, that's who

Sasha Darling

firmly believes in cocktail attire

L.C. Mason

welcomes you to the jungle

Ashley Harrell

is stapled to a monkey

Kimberly Chun

refuses to buckle down

Tony DuShane

loves you more than you know

Marc Hawthorne

is checking scores right now

Ella Lawrence

knows it's 5pm somewhere

Justine Sharrock

is scouring the streets

Rose Garrett

really ties the room together

Michael Stabile

likes the seedy underbelly

Noya Kohavi

is typing up a storm

Beth Spotswood

is nerdy, responsible, and tall

Chrissy Loader

knows when to walk away, and when to run

Miquel Hudin

was punched by a girl at Ruby Skye

Aeschleah DeMartino

wishes she had a jetpack

Nato Green

is a formidable foe

Linda Schumacher

is following her heart

Aaron Britt

folds pocket squares into deadly weapons

Twilight Greenaway

has some big questions

Michelle Broder Van Dyke

says it’s all the same-old-same-old, but it’s never déjà vu

Stephen Torres

is getting lost

Harmon Leon

will one day take up the harp

Travis Jensen & Brad Evans

respect the Tenderloin

Jessica Lanyadoo

is a waterfall

Chris Benz

experiences rock and roll as a rebuke

Anna Hennings

is tall and wearing heels anyway

Alex Koll

is currently flightless and unable to lay eggs

N.W. Smith

shines 'cause he grinds

Beth Cook

walks like an Egyptian

William Mercer McLeod

loves hot nights

Chris Roberts

would like to meet a ghost

Ramin Rahimian

takes photos and eats food

Isaac Fitzgerald

has a hero complex

Laura Brunow Miner

wants to live at summer camp

Thomas Page McBee

is a dapper rebel

Brendan Seibel

pokes things with sticks

Sandra Silvoy

double double this sans that

Sasha Darling & N.W. Smith

are fighting the good fight

Andre Torrez

is trying to relax

William Bostwick

makes it himself

Bill Talic

has a devil's haircut

Dennis Yang

still makes mixtapes

Nikki Grattan

likes straight talk

Rachel Levin

hopes the Big One is just a little one

Boonsri Dickinson

likes to meet people in elevators, where it's intimate

Andrew M. Dalton

has already made alternate plans

Matt Baume

is on a very important case

Ashwin Seshagiri

has pie all over his face.

Winni Wintermeyer

sticks his head in the clouds

Kathleen Alcott

exited Dodge slowly and carefully

Antonia Richmond

knows it when she sees it

Eugene Robinson

Too much style for this planet? Experts say YES.

TBI - 6th and Market Team

discovers a day in the life at 6th and Market

Jonny Waldman

is strongly averse to goats

Josh R.

is still looking for Mr. Goodbar

Mary Catherine O'Connor

is trying to apply herself

Steven Leckart

is learning to take naps

Aaron Sankin

is subsisting exclusively on unicorn meat

Josh Izenberg

jaywalks

Jaimal Yogis

is dreaming of swimming with sharks

Allison Davis

is an aspiring grown-up

Andrew Fitzgerald

likes telling tales and spinning yarns

Garrett Kamps

collects spores, molds, and fungus

Shawn Gaynor

is tried, true, and seldom blue

LJ Moore

could out-pun your Dad

Andreas Trolf

enjoys the occasional drink

Emily Goligoski

dances like everyone is watching

Jackson West

is living on the cheap in San Francisco

Nicole Martinelli

is little bit country, a little rock n' roll

Jon Adams

can grow a beard as well as Cliff Clavin

Reyhan Harmanci

is always up for a good garage sale

Zoneil Maharaj

hates vegetables

Kate Greene

is thinking about it

Annetta Black

prefers keeping it strange

Mara Sohn

waits for the next reel to spool

Chris Sabbath

is the president of his own fan club

Mat Honan

gives good Internet

Leslie Fulbright

takes cream and sugar

Lisa Tauber

has never heard that expression

Sean Sanford

rhymes with witty

Patrick Heig

is sorry he has to keep apologizing

Dino-Ray Ramos

is a sartorial cycle of fun

Jesse Szymanski

is good at bumming cigarettes

Drew Himmelstein

likes to be anonymous

Brendan Francis Newnam