Aidin Vaziri Professional music critic, amateur stripper

What event will we find you at this week? At the Great American Music Hall tonight to see the Pains of Being Pure at Heart . They sound just like My Bloody Valentine but look a lot healthier.

What's your most embarrassing SF moment? There will be a book someday. It will be very thick.

Where would you have your last meal on earth (and what would you eat)? Crissy Field with a picnic basket stuffed with pizza from Pizzetta 211, chicken and waffles from Eats, ice cream from Swensen's, fish and chips from Woodhouse Fish Co., a martini from the Elite Cafe, and coffee and cookies from Trouble Coffee. I have simple tastes.

Who's your favorite quintessential local character? Occasionally, there's this old guy on Clement Street with an accordion, suit, and trucker hat who plays "O Susanna!" for about seven hours straight. I always cross the street to avoid him.

What's your go-to date place? Heroes Club on Clement Street. I don’t even know what it is – like a store for action figures you can’t play with or photograph or touch. But they have a lot of Bruce Lee figures, which always puts me in the mood. And sometimes they put a life-size Jason from the Friday the 13th movies in the window. Just try to avoid Robin Williams, who is a regular and the ultimate boner killer.

If you can change one thing about San Francisco, what would it be? It would definitely help if we could pass a law that says people can’t wear workout clothes unless they are actively exercising. Also, that pants that don't go all the way down to the ankles aren't really pants. Stop wearing those.