Michael Phillips Moskowitz Minister of Literary Affairs in the People's Government of Nauru

What are you up to these days? Launching Bureau of Trade – a new shopping and entertainment experience for men, on and offline.

Where do you get your local gossip? I sit down with Frank Chu at the Bohemian Club weekly for a thorough briefing on all things local. His speed, scope, and insider scoops are the object of envy and jealous scorn at the FBI.

Where's your go-to date place? I take all of my dates to Planned Parenthood first. For the artwork. Then to Locanda for a drink, to Commonwealth for dinner, and Chez Spencer for dessert.

What's your own secret spot? A crude, hand-dug tunnel that runs between Bourbon & Branch and Mr. Lew's. Crouching room only. The proprietors keep it chock full of rare, illicit spirits, and tickets run $1800 pop. But they're worth every penny. 

What's your favorite under-the-radar restaurant? It's a pop-up eatery called Mission Uiger. It's like Mission Chinese, but smaller, slightly darker, and misunderstood. They only prepare Halal delicacies from the Eastern Orient. 

What's your favorite San Francisco institution? The psych ward at SF General. The food, furniture, and linens are perfectly dreadful, but the cast of characters defies description. 

What local merchant have you been meaning to check out? The Woolly Mammoth: it's a mobile sweater truck. Think UPS delivery vehicle, covered in fur, equipped with tusks, stuffed full of stylish winter jumpers, and coming to your neighborhood from Bureau of Trade in 2012.