Did last week’s story “Teen Takes 'Meow Meow,' Cuts Own Penis Off” leave you wondering why a kid ate a cat? Does your knowledge of current drugs only extend as far as the difference between Molly and Ecstasy? Then you, my friend, might need a refresher course on what today’s crazy kids are shoving into their bodies (besides each other, boom). 

First up is the recently elusive “Meow Meow,” or Mephedrone, an amphetamine-based upper popularized in the London party scene due to the scarcity and “eh” quality of MDMA there. It causes a euphoric feeling –bubbly clarity coupled with an intense sexual rush. Although it was made illegal in the EU in 2010 and in the US in 2011, it’s been rising in popularity stateside. As a side note, Mephedroneis sometime erroneously called “bath salts,” a name that uninformed journalists call any number of crystalized designer drugs. These are NOT “bath salts.” The actual drug version involves the amphetamine-like cathinone alkaloid found in the khat plant.  

MEC or 4-Methylethcathinone is like a dodgy, quasi-legal substitute for Meph or MDMA. It’s sometimes sold as “other speed” and is particularly dangerous because of the faster comedown, the response from users being to re-dose frequently. Like all quasi-legal drugs, who knows what these newfangled mixtures have got in ‘em?

Take away the clarity and add a bit of a sedative, and you’ll have GBL, another current London party drug, normally used for stripping paint. It arrives from the Internet with a pipette for dosing the colorless, odorless liquid into alcohol. GBL is wildly addictive due to its short euphoric state, and is also called “coma in a bottle” (only by the Daily Mail though).

Turn the volume wayyyy down, here comes K, or Ketamine. Still somehow extremely popular, this horse anesthetic turns most people into temporary zombies. By blocking nerve pathways but maintaining respiratory and circulatory functions, users end up in a “K-hole” – ambling around, sludgy, heavy-headed, unable to speak clearly or process surroundings, staggering until they pass out or sober up. Biggest danger here actually is bladder damage (ulcers and fibrosis) from prolonged, continued usage.

A supposed “bladder safe” replacement is Mket or Methoxetamine (also called roflcoptr by “politicians, parents and journalists”). It's a designer drug based on K with a much higher potency, thereby somehow protecting your bladder, although nobody’s really explained it. The one-armed chemist responsible for creating the drug has mixed feelings on the subject.

The Trinity deserves its own attention: LSD, MDMA, and K, a particularly popular combination in the deeper, darker rave scene (we’re talking places like Berghain). The purpose of the drug is to bring on the perfect psychedelic trip – by using the MDMA to up your mental state, and ketamine to zonk you out, you’re left with a disassociated golden ride. Still, LSD lasts for up to 16 hours, whereas both MDMA and K fade in a quarter of the time, so for this to work, you’re looking at some re-dosing, and that’s not the safest activity on LSD.

There’s been a lot of press around Krokodilthe flesh eating opioid from Russia that’s sweeping America. Except that it isn’t. Despite the media’s newfound fear of our youth’s skin sloughing off from drug use, there have been no positive test results for Desomorphine in the US. Don’t worry about this one until you’re somewhere in Eastern Siberia.

Speaking of opioids, Subutex or Buprenorphine, Finland’s preferred source of euphoria, can be snorted for an immediate morphine-like effect, although once you’ve come down, there’s no redosage that’ll bring you back in one sitting. It’s the topic of Reindeerspotting: Escape from Santa Land, and the drug is enjoying a new popularity in the States, mostly as a pain reliever, but also as an opiate dependency disruptor to treat heroin and methadone addictions (approved by the FDA in 2002).

Lastly, I want to touch on BHO, or dabs, skillet, or whatever the hell they’re calling it now. Are you tired of getting high on pot like everyone else, but too worried about branching out into harder drugs? Then invest in a whole new set of smoking equipment: a glass nail affixed to the inside of a multi-percolated bong, a blowtorch, a dental scraper, and a disgustingly high tolerance for weed. With these, you’ll be melting/vaporizing a 70% - 90% concentrated form of THC called butane hash oil (BHO), wax, or shatter, and getting ripshit stoned. This seems to be popular in areas where the baseline quality of pot is so high it takes two blunts and an edible to get out of bed in the morning. So: California and Colorado. I’m not a fan, mostly because I like to relax after smoking, maybe have a sandwich – not writhe on the ground coughing, then pass out in the back of my car severely dehydrated.

Anyway, if you’re actually interested in what new and old drugs are out there, check out the ever helpful erowid.org for more information on nearly every drug we’ve ever thought of ingesting.

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