An Insane New Way to Make Eggs Using Every Kind of Yolk

Jun 23 at 1pm

You hear a lot about brunch in this town, and a lot about "innovation." It seems strange that they have yet to overlap, unless you include putting bacon into every single thing. During weeks when the grocery store seems way too far away, I can eat eggs for two, sometimes three meals a day, and with all the different ways you can cook an egg, it's agonizingly difficult to decide on just one cooking method. One can't get up an extra 40 minutes earlier in the morning to weigh the pros and cons between scrambled or runny yolks; but now, you don't have to, thanks to a bit of deranged imagination.

Start with some eggs. The brown ones are nice because they're more "natural" than white eggs. People tell me they're not, but just look at them! Definitely more "natural-looking."


Separate two eggs from their yolks and cook them into a flat, round shape. I know what you're thinking- that would make a great plate! Dude, I know. In a city all about bread bowls, an "egg plate" seems like an awesome idea. Don't get your hopes up though, because it turns out like this:


Note the flimsiness and puzzled-together pieces. The egg rips when taking it out of the pan, so stop dreaming of an edible plate, because it's not going to happen.


Next, soft boil some eggs. You're going to waste about 70% of these, so don't get too attached.


Once the eggs are soft boiled, collect the runny yolks in a cup. If you have a small decorative pouring thing, this is a great chance to use it. If not, any shitty cup that you usually use as a small vase works great.


Scramble three eggs and place them in the middle of your failed egg white plate.


Your vase/cup of yolk-sauce should be looking sufficiently nasty at this point. In hindsight, an opaque cup (or again, decorative pouring thing) would probably have been a better choice. If you're serving this to guests, that's probably something to think about.


Drizzle the soft yolks on top of your scrambled eggs. As an over-easy fan who also enjoys scrambled, this is a great time to be really proud of yourself. 


But why stop there? Feel free to garnish with a side of hard boiled eggs. Or if you really want to spice things up:


Crumble the hard boiled yolks on top of your egg insanity. My god, you could enjoy EVERY KIND OF YOLK in one bite.


Grab a fork and buy a one-way ticket to Egg City, population: you.

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