There's been a lot of hubbub lately about how apps like Snapchat and Facebook Poke are basically only for sexting. Both apps allow you to send messages that self-destruct almost immediately. Since people are going to sext anyway, why not improve the art form and hopefully make people feel protected enough that they will send me some really silly shit? Here are five reasons why Fap Chat (Snappoke?) could make sexting even better.
1. You only have to keep it up for three seconds.
The photo that is. Sure, sexts are awesome in theory, but one bad angle and three seconds can seem like forever.
2. You don't have to go to the trouble of trusting people.
It's safe to assume sexts will come back to haunt you. Maybe this is explains why Snapchat's icon is a ghost? The risk of having your third nipple shared with the world is at least slightly lower when the photo is only viewable for 1-10 seconds. There is always the chance that whoever you're messaging will be quick enough to take a screenshot, but Snapchat will notify you if this happens. So, at least you'll know your life is over.
3. People can't put all of your nudes side by side and compare your pre and post-holiday weight gain.
I can't say for sure if anyone other than me is crazy enough to do this. It would be bad, right?
4. Trolling is better.
Sure, you could send a sexting buddy a picture of their mom at any time by traditional sexting, but Snapchat really adds to the unveil through the use of anticipation and surprise. What's better than perfectly timing your creepiness? This could be why I don't have any snaps.
5. People can get more creative.
There really aren't that many different kinds of sexts out there. My first thought after receiving a dick pic is usually "Well now what?" Snapchat can make people feel just safe enough to take more chances on props, costumes, and concepts for their private photos. It's been too cold lately to remove my footie pajamas long enough for a photo series recreating all of Lena Dunham's nude poses from Girls, but someone else will surely have added those to the hot mess we call the internet by this afternoon.
If that idea made you throw up in your mouth a little, you can also create masterpieces by drawing on pictures. Basically, Snapchat is like sexting meets Draw Something. It'll be no time before some genius will turn his dick into a butterfly.
Get snapping, people.