Neighbors – they can be a total pain the ass to deal with when you're squeezing into such a dense urban area. If they aren't stomping around the floor above you in boots made of concrete, they moan like sick pigeons when they're banging someone. But anxious dogs have to be the worst. Can you imagine trying to rationalize with a 19-pound "army poodle" that just bark-laughs in your face every time you complain to its owner?

This note was posted by an Oakland Redditor who lives in Fairview Park and who received this desperate plea for help in their mailbox, along with everyone else who has a mailbox in the neighborhood. Although I very much feel for the author of the typed letter, you can't help but find some dark comedy in the scenes it paints – a fed up neighbor yelling at the top of their lungs at a poodle, a conniving dog barking exactly when its enemy is trying to sleep, a mirror with the words REDRUM and an antichrist symbol left outside the door. 

But the clincher has to be the last line of the note, which is what inspired the Redditor to post in the first place: "I am a mostly raw vegan pacifist martial artist." THAT is what makes this a note that only a Bay Arean could truly write – and love. 

[Via Reddit]

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