Sexy Time: An Oil to Get Your Lady Parts Stoned (NSFW)

Jul 08 at 1pm

“Hey honey. Wanna get my vagina high?” I asked my boyfriend, knowing the answer would be a moment of silence with dropped jaw and googly eyes, followed by “Yes,” and then a confused “Wait, what?”

Enter Foria to the bedroom: a cannabis-and-coconut sexual enhancement oil for women* – loosely put, a weed treat for the lady parts made to stimulate and heighten sexual response, induce relaxation and lubrication, and relieve tension. Sounds like magic, right?

Although giddy for the chance to lube with bud, I have to admit I was also nervous. I’m not a fan of smoking or ingesting marijuana. Lame, I know, but the littlest hit or nibble makes me paranoid and creepy. Sure lots of folks enjoy a romp after a puff or wanking while they float on edibles – cannibis is an age-old aphrodisiac. I just didn’t want to ruin a good hump with some hyper-cerebral activity.

Turns out, my cooter would have me covered. The vaginal walls absorb and metabolize differently than the rest of the body and introducing cannabis via muff results in a very special kind of sexual healing. (Sorry dudes – same doesn’t apply for the penis. Try your butt!). My box would feel nice tingly things, but not my brains. Also, the coconut oil is good for balancing a healthy pH level in your vag – score! Time to get it on.

The directions are simple: do a spritz spritz of the liquid marijuana all over the lips, the clit, outside and inside the baby maker before sexy time and wait 15-30 minutes for it to soak in. If you apply it when you’re already wet, the weed will have a harder time penetrating.

To give the product a fair chance, I decided to play a few times during the week before reviewing. For my virginal venture, I kept it minimal and just slicked the outside. Almost immediately things felt warmer. My boyfriend and I traded massages during the 20-minute wait time. The anticipation that accompanies this oil might be the hardest/best part. Knowing something is down makes it hard to resist the full act.

By the time we got to heavy petting I felt real nice and engorged. I liked the slick, silky texture and ended up coming from clit stimulation pretty quick. The penetration was the cherry on the special cake.

The next day I amped up the amount of oil for round two – the boy and I snickered while he parted my legs and got me with the ganja. We tried to be oh-so- patient, but could only wait 15 minutes before he went down on me – did I forget to mention this oil is edible? Important to keep in mind, if you do lick it up, the effect is the same as eating a weed brownie or truffle – body buzz!

We had a real nice time, my sensitivity was definitely increased, and my orgasm felt full and round. After this afternoon delight, the boyfriend and I went our separate ways, tending to evening obligations. While I felt chill and focused the rest of the evening, he ended up real stoney, happily playing drums for hours with the scent of me, and marijuana, on his mustache.

Round three was a solo act accompanied by a vibrator. I felt very aware of “her” – my vagina and I really communicated. She felt awake. Invigorated, similar to that feeling you get when you wash your cookie with Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap. I liked the way my insides pulsated. The orgasm was definitely better than my usual handiwork – more luxurious.

In conclusion – yes, yes, oh yes. I’m usually not one for lube but if it comes with natural, heightened sensitivity, keeps me focused during the act, and leaves me with soft lips (both sets), I’m down. I might even try giving a little spray to my insides before my dinner date or a walk around town for a little in-the-pants secret party.

My puss is gonna be a total pothead.

*Foria is currently only available to California residents who have a medical marijuana card and join Foria's collective.  

Images via Thinkstock and Foria

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