Netflix is producing a 13-episode spin-off sequel to the popular sitcom Full House, entitled Fuller House, to debut in 2016. Back in the ’90s, we loved laughing and crying along with the Tanner family and their family-friendly San Francisco misadventures. So with the kids grown up and San Francisco a gentrified husk of its former self, what will family life be like for the Tanners in 2016? Here’s the leaked summaries I chanced upon.
Episode 1: Just as the family is sitting down for a reunion dinner, quirky neighbor Kimmy drops in and glumly announces that she’s been subject to a no-fault eviction so developers can bulldoze her house to make room for condos. Jesse and Danny bicker over letting her stay with them, while D.J. calls Causa Justa.
Episode 2: A Google bus breaks down in the Tanner’s driveway. Uncle Jesse curses when he can’t get his motorcycle out. Meanwhile, Joey buys a fixie and immediately gets into an accident while going over streetcar tracks.
Episode 3: With television journalism in shambles, Danny Tanner loses his morning-show-host job and endeavors to learn how to code. The landlord doubles their rent.
Episode 4: Stephanie graduates from Cal and moves back to her old bedroom, but she’s too shy to tell her parents she’s in a polyamorous triad with two men. While attempting to shuttle her lovers in and out of the house without arousing her dad’s suspicion, comedy ensues.
Episode 5: The family has an intervention when D.J. gets too obsessed with orgasmic meditation. Danny becomes an Uber driver to pay the bills.
Episode 6: Grown-up Michelle goes to Burning Man and does too much Molly. Danny has to drive to Reno to pick her up from the hospital.
Episode 7: The Katsopolis twins join Grindr. Nicky sees Joey’s profile and accidentally swipes right. Comedy ensues.
Episode 8: Uncle Jesse catches the Katsopolis twins with a bag of coke as they’re headed out to a BDSM club in SOMA. After bickering, the twins storm out and move to a single-residence-occupancy hotel in the Tenderloin.
Episode 9: Danny finishes a Codeacademy course in CSS and gets an internship for a personal-fashion start-up where his coworkers universally refer to him as “old man.” They can pay him only in stock and cold-pressed juices. The next day, the start-up gets raided by the FTC, and he loses his internship.
Episode 10: Danny is driving for Uber when one of his passengers, a YouTube personality, recognizes him from TV. The YouTuber offers him a cameo on her web series. Danny thinks it’s going to be his big break until, at the last minute, she backs out.
Episode 11 (part 1): While trying to impress a woman at the farmers’ market with his knowledge of wild edibles, Danny splurges on five pounds of organic fiddlehead ferns, causing him to come up short for rent. D.J. and Stephanie hatch a plot to brew and sell kombucha to make up the difference.
Episode 11 (part 2): The kombucha mother that D.J. and Stephanie get on Craigslist turns out to be ergot. The family hallucinates that they are back in the 1990s and that the middle class still exists.
Episode 12: As they are being evicted from their five-bedroom Victorian, the Tanner family meet the renter who will be replacing them, a single 22-year-old Stanford grad who works for Dropbox. The family moves to a cramped apartment in Vallejo across the street from an oil refinery.
