By Kristin Smith
The Dyke March, the high-holiest of all lesbian events, is on the horizon. On Saturday, June 29, Dolores Park will be filled with lesbians from all over the world. If you’re from out of town, you’ll look around and think you’ve arrived at a dyke paradise — a magical place where women party in the streets, where clubs overflow with hot ladies, and where, on any given night, you can take your pick of lesbian parties.
Sadly, this is not true.
Here, in one of the queerest cities in the country, there are exactly two lesbian bars: the Lexington Club (call it the Lex) and Wild Side West, which, in fact, is more of a neighborhood bar and less strictly for the ladies.
But there are some ongoing lesbian parties — some really good ones. They usually happen just once a month, and dykes from all over the Bay Area flock to a backyard party or a sweaty dance club to get their fill of lez party action before going back to potlucks and board-game nights. I kid, sort of.
Three years ago, I wrote a piece for The Bold Italic about lesbian parties. It’s still one of the most referenced guides for lesbian nightlife, which shows the scarcity of information about our community. In the last few years, some great new San Francisco dyke parties have come onto the scene, and Oakland is starting to rival SF in its lesbian party scene.
So I decided to write an addendum that highlights parties on both sides of the bay. After ten years of living in San Francisco and a stint as the editor of a lesbian magazine, I have a pretty good sense of the girl clubs in the Bay Area, but given the rich diversity of our community, I knew there were probably parties that weren’t yet on my radar.
I spent the last month asking every lesbian I met the same question: What are your top-five lesbian parties in the Bay Area? I asked baby dykes and lesbian elders; Oakland residents and SF ones; partnered ladies and single gals.
While the people I asked were diverse, the answer was almost always the same: “Five? Do we even have five?” And then they’d spend time mulling it over, counting them off on their fingers, asking friends, looking online, and — eventually — reach five.
And while five is a lot less than the number that gay men have, it’s usually enough to satiate most party-going local dykes. There are plenty of mixed queer parties to fill the calendar, such as Hard French and Booty Call. But every once in a while, you just want to be with the ladies.
So without further ado, here are the five dyke parties that topped the list:
Ships in the Night
Big-Ass Philanthropic Dance Party
The New Parish, first Saturday of the month
Ships in the Night got the most votes for best lesbian party in my poll. Ships started as a small SF party at the divey Underground SF, and it’s expanded into a massive monthly party in Oakland. And OH MY GOD is this is a party! Ships is packed with hundreds of ladies and their friends. The night I went, one of the DJs spun sissy bounce, and a crew of folks booty-danced their asses off onstage, writhing on the floor, shaking their asses against the speaker. It was epic. There are some weird things, like a guy offering $1-per-minute massages on a proper massage chair in the corner. But I guess that’s the sort of thing you can offer when you have a space as giant as the New Parish. This club goes on and on, with a great balcony for watching the booty bouncing, a giant open outside area, a secret saloon off the side for sipping whiskey, and a giant dance floor. Oh, and this party benefits the queer community; they’ve raised $20,000 for 30 organizations already. If people tell you Ships is their favorite, believe them.
Darling Nikki
The Throwback Party That Gives Back
Slate Bar, third Friday of the month
Named after one of the lesser-known Prince songs, Darling Nikki is one of the newcomers to the lesbian party block. Producers Lyra Wallace and Lydia Daniller started the monthly party in their loft on South Van Ness and then expanded it to Slate Bar a year ago. It still feels like a really good house party, with ladies shooting pool in the back and singing to ’80s remixes in the front. Each month the ladies of Darling Nikki choose a nonprofit as the beneficiary and give proceeds from the $5 door charge to the nonprofit. The party caters to people in their 30s, both in music taste and party time (the club opens at 8 p.m.). And if you’re more interested in sitting back and taking in the scene, Slate makes a mean dirty martini and any other fancy drink, because going to a club doesn’t mean you have to chug awful well drinks. DJ Durt is Darling Nikki’s resident DJ, and along with a series of guest DJs, these ladies tear it up with a combo of hip-hop, top 40, and ’80s music. Durt, coincidentally, is the only person who could name five of her favorite lesbian clubs without delay. When I asked her what five parties she would choose, she said, “That’s simple. The five I spin,” and then headed back to the deck.
Cock Block
The Name Says it All
Rickshaw Stop, second Saturday of the month
When your lesbian friends come in from out of town and ask you where they can meet the ladies, tell them Cock Block at the Rickshaw Stop. This party has been running for seven years, and it’s solid all around: hot girls, good music, stiff drinks. It’s definitely a younger crowd, filled with baby dykes from all across the Bay Area and their rich butch older girlfriends. Okay, maybe that’s just a few I know. Cock Block is right outta The L Word, with sexy, scantily clad women in tight clothes and grinding and dancing on the stage above a sea of hot young ladies. Cock Block is the hook-upiest of any of the clubs. If you are single, you’ll likely be making out on the floor by the end of the night. If you’re partnered, you might want to hold on to your sweetie. Most cities have only one lesbian party, and it’s probably a lot like Cock Block, only not as good.
Mango
Diverse Daytime Dance Party
El Rio, fourth Sunday of the month
Quite simply, there’s no place like Mango. This daytime backyard dance party at El Rio has been making ladies move for 17 years — and it’s clear why. Mango isn’t just a great party; it’s a community gathering. Many women have been coming to Mango since it started, and they’ve kept the salsa/hip-hop party going even after its founder, Chantal Salkey, passed away three years ago. Mango is a glimpse into what San Francisco used to be, when the Mission District was the stomping ground for lesbians and women of color before much of the community moved to Oakland. If you’re an older dyke, you’ll spend your afternoon dancing in the sun with your longtime friends. If you’re young, you’ll get a glimpse into your future as an older SF dyke, and it’ll make you smile. Last month, DJ Edaj ended the party by saying, “If nobody told you today that they loved you, we’ll tell you. Mango loves you.” And you know what, you believe it. This party is why so many queer women moved to San Francisco in the first place, and it’s great to see it still going strong.
Good Times
Hella Queer Oakland Scene
The Den, every Wednesday
At 9:30 p.m. the bar attached to the Fox Theater was empty, save for a few women sipping martinis at the tall café tables. By 10:45, there was a line out the door. This is Good Times, Oakland’s weekly lesbian party at the Den. DJ Olga of Mango founded it three years ago, and it’s become a staple of the Oakland lez party scene ever since. Olga and DJ Rapture spin really good hip-hop that will get anyone off of the comfy couches and grinding on the dance floor. Young Brat accompanies them as the hype girl, rallying the crowd and freestyling over the beats. Good Times is just that — a laid-back Oakland party where you can choose to lounge with a strong martini or get down with a strong butch, or both.
Pride Weekend!
Want to get down with the ladies during the high holy days? Darling Nikki and Ships in the Night are teaming up with DJ Sissy Slap for Sissy Darlings in the Night, a hot and sweaty dance party on Friday night at Underground SF. On Saturday, get your lez party on with Stay Gold (featured in Lez Nightlife Part One) and other queer party promoters at The House of Babes, a massive Dyke March After Party at Public Works. See you there!
Design & Illustration: Helen Tseng
