If ever a party felt like a religious experience in San Francisco, it was the recent Carnivale at Grace Cathedral.
I never had many excuses to attend church as a Jew, so last week was my first time climbing the steps of this historical and very gothic-looking venue. I love a good party, and for me the best ones in San Francisco happen inside spaces traditionally meant for something else. San Francisco Ballet hosts its annual gala in City Hall, Art Bash is inside SF MoMA’s amazing museum, and now Grace Cathedral: a place for prayer that’s bathed in blue light, adorned with flowers, and entertained by a saxophonist, fire dancer, and semi-contortionist ballerina in pointe shoes.
Honestly? It’s maybe the fanciest prom in existence, complete this year with a staged photo booth that let attendees leave with dozens of prints of their couture posed against studio lighting and high-end photographers. It’s also Grace Cathedral’s annual gala, this year raising $890,000 for its various services that are not just religious, but support artists in residence and even teach yoga classes amid its many vaulted ceilings.
I always catch a passing glimpse of San Francisco luminaries, old wealth, and high society at these galas, but this one felt a lot more intimate. You walk in and there’s Dede Wilsey casually chatting alongside Jack Calhoun and Trent Norris. An older woman in a stunning bright, printed maxi skirt compliments my gown, and I come to learn she’s Swedish diplomat Barbro Osher. At dinner, I’m seated next to Sarah Kliban, a go-to casting director for many major films and television series with San Francisco location shoots. We immediately discuss Contagion and Hemingway and Gellhorn, both in which she appeared.
Coming out of the pandemic, the vibe felt very much “how do we rebuild our lives?” Whereas nowadays people ask me why there aren’t more amazing parties like Carnivale. Many attendees recognize me from the last great one — the SF Ballet’s opening gala — and as I’m mingling with the younger crowd that trickles in for the after party, several are looking ahead toward Art Bash. There’s a very specific, unwritten calendar for fashionable soirées in San Francisco, and Grace Cathedral was definitely the place to be on Feb. 13.
Notable speeches provided attendees some entertainment between dinner courses. My favorite came from 11-year-old Ben Kliban, who nervously talked about his time as a preschooler and when his great, great grandparents sheltered across the street from the church following the 1906 earthquake. Kids are, to me, great at getting society folk to open their pocketbooks.
“It was a really diverse school, we had kids who spoke different languages; Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Arabic, and we all got along for the most part,” he said. “That has really helped me in the long run for learning how to talk and have fun with kids, even with a language barrier.”
The theme at this year’s gala involved the elements, so many attendees did the homework assignment, showing up in Earth, air, water, and fire-themed ensembles. For me it was Mardis Gras, ergo beads, and I did see artist Kate Tova sporting those and handing them out in true southern tradition.
The sold-out after party brought the evening’s total attendance to more than 450 people, yet for me it felt more like a private school dance — in the best way. A band played a hybrid of DJed tracks accompanied by live instruments while a fire twirler did an indoors-safe LED version of his performance.
A ballerina en pointe also joined, doing lots of splits and moves on tippy toes while ball gowns and tuxes shaked and shimmied around her. All the late-night festivities happened inside the Cathedral’s small chapel that was bathed in red light, giving me very Chilling Adventures of Sabrina meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer vibes.
This is not a soirée I’ve attended previously but certainly one I plan to revisit. In the church that is Grace Cathedral, it is not only a place of prayer, but as it turns out, one for yoga, labyrinth walks, sound baths, and definitely where we worship a great party.
Saul Sugarman is editor in chief of The Bold Italic.
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