It was a night to remember at the Castro Theatre as a community came together to mourn — but mostly to celebrate — the life of iconic drag legend, Heklina, who sadly passed away last month while preparing for her Mommie Queerest show with Peaches Christ in London.
Though to be fair, the only reason she would have hated it is because she wasn’t the one organizing, booking, and promoting it — or making money off of it. “If she had known her memorial would be such a huge hit, she would have died three times a month,” said Pippi Lovestocking to a packed house. “And charge us all for it!” added Juanita MORE!
“Yes, it’s a memorial,” warned Peaches Christ. “But it’s also a show.” And as several queens on stage pointed out, Heklina would “have notes.” “I keep waiting for her to come out and tell us we’re doing it wrong,” said Pippi. Hekkles — as she was known to her friends — was nothing if not persnickety about nearly every aspect of her productions, a contributing factor to her fierce status as a San Francisco legend who “changed the face of drag.”
But wait, did she? As her former business partner (and co-founder of Oasis) D’arcy Drollinger pointed out, this is not what Stefan Grygelko set out to do when he created his now-legendary drag persona back in 1991. But recognizing the thousands of people in attendance and watching on giant video screens held up by forklifts on Castro Street — and around the world on Oasis TV — we were all there “living through our connection” to Heklina.
“We changed the face of drag,” said Drollinger, reframing an oft-repeated sentiment of the night. “But she gave us the opportunity.”
As one of the earliest performers who didn’t fit in with the traditional “man in a dress” drag cliché at her weekly Tuesday night Trannyshack show at The Stud, I was someone who took advantage of that opportunity back in the ’90s and ’00s, along with countless others who were given their first shots on stage by Heklina. She knew how to galvanize a scene, and because of that, her memorial often felt like a (chosen) family reunion. I saw people I haven’t seen in ages, and was grateful to share that connection with one more time.
Interspersed between the numerous drag numbers and tributes during the 3-hour show — er, I mean memorial — were several video clips edited together by former T-shack performer Cricket Bardot, reminding us all what a quick wit Heklina was. “Audacious and fearless” is what Peaches Christ called her, and the archival video footage was a bittersweet reminder of that.
“This is a state funeral for drag royalty,” said Tom Temprano, co-creator of Heklina’s Daytime Realness parties at El Rio. And he wasn’t wrong. Local and state politicians made appearances and speeches, as well as TV celebrities and rock stars such as Alaska and BenDeLaCreme from RuPaul’s Drag Race (in the flesh on stage) and Cindy Wilson of the B-52’s and Ana Matronic from Scissor Sisters (via pre-recorded video) among many others.
But it wasn’t all gushing platitudes and sentimental remembrances, thankfully, because Heklina really would have hated that. LA drag queens Jackie Beat and Sherry Vine brought the bitchy snark, singing a parody song that was pretty much a comedy roast. And nearly everybody had to mention Heklina’s unabashed love of rimming, since eating the ass of straight guys on stage was practically her calling card.
That, and her blunt and often brutal demeanor, reading both friends and enemies for filth with her sass and trademark cackle of a laugh.
At one point though, Peaches Christ revealed a “big secret.” “Publicly,” she said, “Heklina wanted to be the bitch. She was often a cruel mother.” And her “take-no-prisoners” stage mom persona backed that up. But in private? “She was kind on the D.L.” said Peaches, pointing out her philanthropy and loyalty to friends, as well as her love for animals and children.
She was also a pillar for the San Francisco sober community, as Sister Roma, along with Billy Lemon and Juan Garcia of the neighborhood sobriety center, Castro Country Club, pointed out, helping many drag queens get clean without losing their performance identities.
After three hours of “I can’t believe she said that” recollections, butt-eating references, and performances featuring her favorite musical artists (David Bowie, Roxy Music, and Annie Lennox to name a few), things finally got a little more somber. Nancy French, Heklina’s bestie in Palm Springs (where she relocated a few years ago) came out to say a few words, after kicking things off on the outdoor stage with a “community cackle” a few hours prior.
“These have been the worst 50 days of my life,” she said. “And I’ve been to rehab!” As the executor of Heklina’s estate, she revealed that she and the family had only recently recovered her ashes and belongings from the UK. “Don’t die in another country,” was the big take-away, as she revealed a purse retrieved from Heklina’s luggage containing some of the ashes.
Finally, Heklina’s ex-boyfriend, Páll Óskar — a “huge pop star” in Heklina’s half-native home of Iceland — began to close out the evening, which was already going into overtime, with a rendition of “Hyperballad” by Bjork, one of Heklina’s all-time favorite artists. This was immediately followed by Putanesca coming out of drag retirement to do a moving, white-shrouded number to Siouxsie’s “Last Beat of My Heart,” a stirring end to an emotional roller coaster ride of an evening.
To be honest, I’m not sure Heklina would have hated it. But maybe? After all, she hated sentimentality. But she also certainly loved a show. Which is why the after-party at Oasis — an epic drag extravaganza hosted by Sue Casa and Trixxie Carr, featuring over 30 Trannyshack alumni — would have definitely been more her speed. Although she would have balked at the fact that it went well past 3 AM.
Still, it says something about Heklina’s immeasurable influence on Gen X and Millennial queers that so many people came out of performance retirement, and stay up well past their bedtimes to reprise and watch drag numbers from 20 years ago. I can hear her cackling in bemusement — or that just might be a recording of her infamous ringtone, which I must have heard at least a dozen times last night.
Adriana Roberts is a DJ and performer with her Bootie Mashup parties, as well as a writer and trans influencer.
