By Molly Sanchez
A few years ago a friend confided in me that she hated “slutty” costumes. As she went on and on about how annoying these costumes were and how demeaning she found them I stared back wide-eyed. This was the same girl who a month earlier at Folsom Street Fair had whipped off her tank top and walked bare breasted around the city for a day because she was “too hot.” Her hypocrisy astounded me, and yet it wasn’t something new. Every year my Facebook feed is inundated with my friends, my liberal college educated friends, complaining about the women in skimpy costumes they see. They scream that this practice is anti feminist, that it’s distasteful, that it’s plain uncreative. They bemoan the fact that few people will appreciate their intricate or deep cut reference costumes because they’ll be too busy looking at a bevy of boobs and butts shoved into spandex.
This perspective is particularly baffling in light of where we live. I feel like I go to a costumed event pretty much every week in San Francisco! People dress up for movie premieres, baseball games, minor holidays, and music festivals. There’s a whole battalion of adults that abscond to the desert once a year to wear artfully skimpy costumes. Hell, we have a whole festival devoted to wearing tight leather and beating each other. Why are assless chaps ok for one event but not the other? It’s hypocritical to support sexy costumes for so many San Francisco events — from the Folsom Street Fair to Pride to Santacon and Bay to Breakers — and then suddenly shame people who want to show a little skin on Halloween.
I’ll admit to having been a sexy costume hater once myself. I drank the Kool Aid a lot of girls are fed when they’re growing up, the idea that the more skin you show the less brains you must have. The mean girls in movies are usually the blonde busty ones while brown haired bookish ladies like yours truly are the misunderstood but ultimately vindicated heroine. Speaking of mean girls, the movie Mean Girls illustrates this point perfectly by having their smart girl protagonist “misunderstand” the purpose of Halloween by dressing scary.
Why are assless chaps ok for one event but not the other? It’s hypocritical to support sexy costumes for so many San Francisco events — from the Folsom Street Fair to Pride to Santacon and Bay to Breakers — and then suddenly shame people who want to show a little skin on Halloween.
But here’s the thing, what’s so bad about dressing provocatively? Some women’s groups have proposed that slut itself is a word that needs reclaiming. The organizers of SlutWalk, which advocates for rape survivors and sexual consent, say on their website that one of the best ways to disarm derogatory terms is to embrace them and change their cultural connotations. SlutWalk, which is held in several cities around the world, consists of women marching in skimpy (or no) clothing to perpetuate the idea that women deserve respect no matter what they wear. This thinking should extend to Halloween as well.
Women have been told what they can and cannot wear for too long. Columnist Dan Savage had perhaps the best take on this issue when he called Halloween a “Straight Pride Parade.” He made the case that “You move through life thinking about sex, constantly but keenly aware that social convention requires you to act as if sex were the last thing on your mind” and that Halloween is a great way to express your sexuality in a more blatant and open way than you can in your every day life. A blogger for feministing.com agreed and wrote in 2009, “What’s wrong with having a night where we can say, ‘This is my body, and I’m not ashamed of it, or of using it to express my sexuality.’ In fact, the only thing about that that seems wrong to me is the fact that it’s limited to one day, when the other 364 days of the year turn that idea on its head.”
What I think also bothers people about revealing costumes is that they seem like the only option, and a quick perusal of any big box costume store will affirm that. Even the online costume stores seem to have a dearth of selection when it comes to outfits that aren’t handkerchief sized. But great costume pieces can be found at second hand stores and on sites like Etsy and I assure you those are better quality than whatever they shove at you in the Halloween shops.
So cut the hypocrisy, San Francisco. Let’s celebrate anyone’s right to wear assless chaps for any holiday. If a woman feels sexy, be it in a teeny bikini or a burlap bag, allow her to wear that outfit without shame. We’re a silly city with much bigger problems than ladies rocking naughty nurse get ups. If we are tolerant enough to accept people of all shapes, sizes, genders, and sexual preferences, let’s not get our panties in a twist about revealing costumes — unless, of course, getting your panties in a twist coincides with your “sexy genie” costume, in which case twist away, sister.
Want to be sexy and still witty? Here’s a cool list of how to merge sex appeal with tongue in cheek humor (spoiler alert, I’m rocking “Gloria Steinem as a Playboy Bunny “).
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