Every few months, like a pimple familiar to the forehead, this question rises back to the surface of our city’s collective consciousness: Is San Francisco becoming New York City?
The conversation that inevitably follows is, by this point, invariably redundant. YES, by way of money-fueled momentum, San Francisco is becoming, every day, more and more of a gentrified megatropolis à la NYC. BUT due to forces of politics and limitations of geography, San Francisco cannot become New York City. It’s just not possible. AND SO the result is a San Francisco suspended in resistance, both alike and different from New York in a number of obvious-seeming ways. So deep, right? Add to the fact that most of the people who weigh in on the subject are either content writers hungry for clicks (what douchebags) or transplants convinced that they have something meaningful to add to the topic, and what you have — pretty much every time — is pretentiously predictable analysis. No matter which way you squeeze it, the pimple seems to pop the same way.
The last time I’d teased myself through the cycle, I declared that I wouldn’t even interact with the whole NYC-vs.-SF thing ever again. I’d decided the topic was off-putting to me, like week-old food in the back of my fridge; I just wanted to pretend it wasn’t there. But that’s when my editor sent me an email saying that actor/director Eddie Burns was interested in dishing his opinion on the subject. Would I be interested in asking him a few questions?
Eddie Burns? You mean the dude who saved Private Ryan? Who gave Johnny Drama his big break? Well, yes, I said. Yes, I would.
But after my initial excitement, I grew a bit more apprehensive. Despite the fact that Eddie Burns seems to me like the personified essence of East Coast cool, I worried he might be talking with me only to promote his new show — which, by the way, is called Public Morals on TNT and is actually pretty badass. The series finale is tonight. I didn’t want to just write a promotional puff piece. (But I did have to fit in a plug.)
Turns out, though, that Eddie is more than sufficiently qualified to speak on the SF-vs.-NYC topic: while he was born and raised on Long Island, and has spent most of his adult life as an independent filmmaker in New York City, his wife grew up in San Francisco; they were married here at the Saints Peter and Paul Church in North Beach and have spent lots of time in the Bay Area during the last 30 years. He’s even in the process of writing a new show to be set here. Eddie’s producer was very reassuring.
I sent over my questions later that day.
The goal of my questions was to extract from Eddie something like “Yes, San Francisco is different from and better than New York City for reason X.” I had come to believe that because of Eddie’s NYC credentials, something like this from him would have some meaning. But because I wanted to ease my way into this — you know, not tip my hand too early — I started with a lay-up: “What are your favorite SF food spots?”
Eddie’s response:
“My favorite pizza can be found at one of my favorite Italian restaurants, A-16. They’ve also got a fantastic wine list. The same owners have another great restaurant that we love called SPQR. And another favorite spot we love, for oysters, is the Swan Oyster Depot.”
OK, smart guy, I thought to myself, you know your food. I cracked my fingers like a master hacker in a dimly lit data center. Next question: “What are your favorite things to do in SF that are non-food related?”
Eddie said the following:
“One of my favorite pastimes in New York City is going for an epic walk and covering every inch of a new neighborhood. Having lived in New York City since 1990, I’ve probably covered every block at some point in time. So when I come to San Francisco, I like to do the same thing. I always make sure I block out a few hours so that I can discover a new part of the city. My favorite thing to do, other than trying to discover a new, great restaurant, is catching a Giants game at AT&T Park. As much as I love Citi Field, there’s nothing quite like having a ballpark in the city itself.”
“Aha! So he thinks San Francisco is better than New York City,” I said to myself. My questions had been sequenced perfectly. The point of extraction followed melodically: “So would you say then that you like San Francisco better than New York City?”
Eddie’s answer:
“The great similarity between the two cities is that they are both incredible pedestrian towns. One advantage that New York City has over San Francisco, however, is there are no hills on the island of Manhattan. Another great similarity between the two towns is the culture that’s available to you, whether it’s music, art, photography or indie film.”
Crickets. End of reply.
Really, Eddie!?
I wondered in the moment whether I might need to provide him with a bit more context. “Look, Eddie,” I wrote to him (and his producer) in a reply, “it’s kind of a big deal here in SF, this concept of whether or not San Francisco is becoming a warped, sort of miniature version of New York City. Some folks — like these click-bait pricks from New York magazine — say that San Francisco ‘is now more New York–ish than New York itself — its wealth more impressive, its infatuation with power and status more blinding.’ Here in SF we know this to be ridiculous, and we talk about how it’s ridiculous often enough, but since I first emailed you, it’s become important to me that I get your real, grounded opinion on the matter. Is there any truth to the statement cited above?”
Eddie never responded.
As I sit writing this now, I’m wondering if Eddie knew the cyclical fit I’d worked myself into by getting this conversation started again; maybe he knew that by answering my last question, he would just be pandering to my sick addiction — would just be encouraging me to continue messing with this pimple. Maybe his not responding was indicative of his hope that everyone in San Francisco might stop worrying about whether or not our city was becoming some iteration of New York City, or about whether or not our city was better or worse than Manhattan, because we already know the answer, and because in engaging in this conversation, all we’re really doing is looking for cheap reassurance.
Or at least that’s the conclusion I’ve forced myself to come to after spending multiple hours questioning myself and everything I thought I knew before Eddie Burns served me with this silent wisdom. It was only after taking the time to compose myself that I walked away from the mirror and tried to forget about the pimple. I threw on episode 7 of Public Morals, in which at one point Eddie’s character, Terry Muldoon, says, “But then again, we are not dealing with highly intelligent individuals, are we? We’re dealing with irrational, impulsive, usually completely shit-faced drunken lunatics.”
In the moment, this line seemed properly significant.
