Congratulations, you’ve decided to have a kid. Whatever brought you to this monumental life change, you’ve likely started the number crunching: Rent. Income. Diapers. Daycare. And perhaps at the end of all this sad math, you’ve asked yourself, is raising a kid in San Francisco worth it?
Over the last 20 years, the number of children living in San Francisco has decreased as the population has risen. This is hardly surprising — last year the San Francisco Chronicle noted that it takes $200,000 for a family to live comfortably in San Francisco. And that’s not a cushy version of comfortable. A Charles Schwab survey found that “a net worth of $1 million is the baseline for being ‘comfortable.’” Let that sink in for a second.
The site KidsData.org stated that in 2015, there were 121,825 children under the age of 18 who called San Francisco home, and not all of these children came from “comfortable” households. This means that many urban children live in homes that require families to get creative in their living arrangements. There’s the family who lives with two kids in a very fashionable 500-square-foot apartment, the blogger who lived in a studio with his wife and baby, and others — like myself — who are about to have a baby and are staying in their current apartments. Why? Because they can’t afford to move.
In the case of my family, we were lucky enough to get into an apartment — with its blessed rent control — before the market went through the roof. We are also protected by federal and state Fair Housing Act laws prohibiting the eviction of tenants solely on the basis of the fact that they are having a child. We were also lucky enough that we were able to find a place where we didn’t need roommates. If you do have roommates, you may want to give them a good, long heads-up about the impending arrival and see if they’re willing to give up their room for your bundle of love. And after that point, will you be able to make up the difference in rent, or are you going to scour Craigslist for roommates who don’t mind kids?
On the basis of current rent rates, we’d have to move 40 miles away from the city to pay what we’re currently paying now — and we’d be getting about the same in terms of space. If we wanted our kid to have a proper nursery, we’d have to move about 55 miles away. So we’re getting innovative with our apartment setup and forgoing a living room so our kid can have some space. We will also let the soothing sounds of our neighborhood, including the drunk college kids who walk by our window singing at 2:00 a.m., lull our soon-to-arrive newborn to sleep.
Friends and family from outside the Bay Area don’t always see why we’d forgo a living room to stay where we are. But there are serious benefits to having a child in the city. The number of parks, the access to museums and the fact you can immerse yourself in a wealth of culture just by stepping out your front door are enough reasons for a family to move here in the first place. And why would we want to deny our child the ability to learn Mandarin or take a Latin dance class, without having to leave the neighborhood?
And there’s the added benefit of not having to drag the kid in and out of a car seat or stroller since the city mandated in 2013 that Muni must allow strollers. Previously, Muni could require the parent to pull the child out of the stroller, fold it up and then proceed to climb onto the bus while holding the stroller in one hand and the now-crying baby in the other, which, you can imagine, made for a treat of a Muni ride for everyone on the bus.
The city has been making strides toward child-friendly city policies beyond Muni. Notably, the recently passed law that enforces the payment of the remaining 45% of six weeks of parental leave for those who work in San Francisco at companies with over 20 employees (the other 55% is paid through disability, which employees contribute to).
But what about all the time between when a child is six weeks old and 18?
Like everything else in this city, daycare prices are at a premium. Parents can expect to pay upwards of $2,000 a month for full-time daycare for a child between the ages of 0 and 2 — that’s $48,000 dollars in your kid’s first two years. And then there’s preschool. As the article “The San Francisco Preschool Popularity Contest” points out, there are actually enough preschools to go around in San Francisco, with a selection aimed at low-income households. But there’s serious competition for the popular schools, the tuitions for some of which hover near the $20,000/year mark. Some do offer financial aid (if your child is chosen and you qualify), but the rest of the classroom is made up of children from “comfortable” homes.
Many middle-class families are squeezed out during the school-age years, when parents are faced with either putting their child in a private school (the average tuition hovers near $14,450 a year for elementary school and $25,255 for high school) or subject them to the lottery.
San Francisco’s school lottery system has been the subject of much debate over the years, making its way into everything from national articles to Reddit rants. Established as a way to integrate schools, it essentially works like this: You have child A, and you pick as many schools as you’d like A to go to, in order of preference. It’s not uncommon to see upwards of 15 to 20 schools on someone’s list (there are 75 public elementary schools in San Francisco). Then A’s name is entered into the lottery system. Maybe you’re lucky, and A gets his first pick and can go to the school down the street that also happens to be highly rated. But maybe A’s number isn’t called at all, and then he’s forced to go to a school he has no interest in going to that’s miles away and takes three Muni buses to get to. Those who are unhappy with their school assignment can appeal and enter their child’s name in a second round of school selection, but it may not change anything. There are other convoluted elements such as tie-breakers and splitting up twins to increase the odds of getting a better school. Speaking of siblings, it’s not guaranteed that your kids will go to the same school.
So is it worth it to raise a kid in San Francisco? Well, if you can’t afford it, you don’t really get to choose, which sucks. If you can afford to be “comfortable,” more power to you.
And if you’re like us and want to try to stick it out as long as you can by getting creative with your living arrangements and eventually trying your luck with the school lottery, know that you’re in good company.
