I started watching The Bachelorette during blonde southerner Emily Maynard’s season in 2012 and was quickly sucked in. Now I—along with more than 2 million Americans—(somewhat shamefully) watch every iteration of the franchise.
I admit that there are far better things I can do with my time than consume a show hosted by Chris Harrison, but I’m not here to provide snarky commentary about the very snark-worthy show. The truth is, I often do feel like I’ve gained some insights from the series that apply to everyday romance.
Here are just a few of them.
There is no wrong or too ridiculous of a way to find love.
Sometimes it can feel weird to sit on a couch, a bar stool or a toilet, swiping through your phone in hopes of starting a conversation with someone you “like” on the basis of a few of their pictures and interests. That’s nothing compared to the concept of The Bachelor. But plenty who have gone on the show have ended up together and stayed that way (so far).
If you can find love or something close to it, the nature of the circumstances, no matter how bizarre, are of little consequence. (I mean, one of the most significant relationships of my life so far started after I “poked” a woman on Facebook.) You might at least end up with a very entertaining “How I Met Your Mother/Father” story.
You have to put yourself out there.
The people on The Bachelor are doing so in one of the most extreme ways possible — and that serves as a reminder that maybe I should be more vulnerable when it comes to looking for love. Sure, this reminder comes when I’m choosing to sit in my apartment alone watching a reality-TV show, but it’s a lesson I can put into practice after my Monday-night wine-and-watch session.
Dating is competitive.
Dating is essentially pitting yourself against a bunch of other eligible bachelors and bachelorettes and hoping you win the affection of the person you’re pursuing. The Bachelor is just an aggressively amplified example of this.
Kissing is gross.
Think about all those people swapping spit during any given episode of The Bachelor. That’s not sanitary. The best season of the show that could possibly air would be one in which they all get mono and have to put that “in sickness and in health” thing into practice earlier than they thought they would.
Strange gimmicks work. Sometimes.
This season, a woman faked an Australian accent for her first meeting with bachelor Colton, and she ended the night with a rose in hand. A second kept stealing him from other women every time the other women snagged him for a one-on-one. She advanced as well. But it doesn’t always work—another woman dressed as a sloth and got bounced. I was rooting for her.
All three were definitely a strange way to shoot one’s shot, but I guess sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to stand out and let the chips fall where they may.
Waiting sucks.
Waiting for a rose is kind of like waiting for someone to text back, except when it comes to the rose ceremony, there is at least always some resolution. No episode has ever ended in complete radio silence.
Drinking can help or hurt your dating game.
The Bachelor is a highly staged production (I’m sorry if I’m breaking this news to you), and the more memorable parts of the show, both the good and the bad, are set in motion because people get wrecked.
I know I’d have to rip a few glasses of buttery Chardonnay before getting the guts to call out another contestant or pull the tried and tested “Can I steal him for a sec?” move.
Going home alone at the end of the night might suck in the moment, but it could really benefit you in the long run.
Sure, it’s tough when things don’t work out, but sometimes not getting a rose is the best thing that can happen to a contestant. They can move on to the next person.
We’re not going to be a fit for everyone we meet, and that’s OK. You’re going to have to kiss a few people before you find the right one. I mean, even Colton kissed several women on the first night of the competition, and that dude is a virgin.
