By Emma McGowan
By Emma McGowan
When I first heard about sex-tracking apps, I must admit — I was skeptical. Why the hell would I want a cellphone in bed with me? I’ve had enough trouble keeping my phone from interfering in other parts of my life. But as I started digging deeper, I realized the sex tracking trend is directly related to the Quantified Self Movement (QSM). For those of you who aren’t type-A fitness nerds, QSM is all about tracking everything about your life, from what foods you eat to how many steps you take to the number of hours you’re sleeping. People who are really into QSM buy gadgets like FitBit or Up to automatically track their movements. The wearable tech devices report back to an app, gradually accumulating more data that helps the user improve their health and fitness routines.
A few brave souls are taking QSM out of the gym and into the bedroom.
One Reddit user named trimmedbush (let’s refer to him as TB, for brevity’s sake) started tracking sex with his wife over a year ago. The couple was facing sexual incompatibility issues after a decade together: He’d gotten fitter (thanks, QSM!), his libido had risen, and they’d fallen out of sync.
Rather than cheat or just bitch about his situation, TB started meticulously writing down everything from the number of times he masturbated to the types of sex acts he performed with his wife. After 372 days of tracking, TB reports that his sex life has improved drastically — and that the transformation of an emotionally fraught subject into cold, hard data is the main reason for that improvement.
TB isn’t the only one out there cataloging his sex life. While there aren’t nearly as many apps for sex-tracking (yet) as there are for fitness and general health, there are a couple venturing bravely forward into the bedroom. Some aren’t so great but others, like Spreadsheets — which measures your duration, thrusts per minute, and decibel level in order to track your sexual encounters — are intriguing.
Although Spreadsheets hasn’t yet figured out how to incorporate wearable tech (I’d like to suggest a cock ring) it’s closer to the standard QSM model than TB’s manual method. You use the app by placing it next to the bed and then trying to forget about the fact that you’re recording yourself doing it. The app collects data like any other QSM device, and then it’s up to you to make moves based on the information you get back.
While the idea of Spreadsheets still makes me feel a little weird (I confess that I haven’t tried it out myself), I do love the fact that there are entrepreneurs focusing on ways to make it easier for couples to talk about sex. If data is what does it for you, I say go for it.
Me? I think I’ll probably stick to the old-school Yes, No, Maybe sheet.
Image from Thinkstock
