I’ve been working from home since March, and in that time I’ve barely touched a makeup brush and haven’t worn anything but sweats. I’ve been liberated from the micro-harassments and the constant pressure to feel polished that so many women experience. Who knew the pandemic would help me better understand the double standards I face as a woman in nearly every environment?
At the office I always wore a full face of makeup. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t want my colleagues to tell me I looked tired or ask me if I was feeling okay. I used to read career advice articles for women and they would always mention looking your best and that it’s unprofessional to go without makeup.
Now I only wear makeup when I feel like it. It gives me back 30 minutes in the morning, and I’ve saved money not buying products and beautification treatments. I’ve learned to appreciate and feel empowered by my natural beauty. I have more confidence to dismiss the shallowness of small-minded people. Of course, I can’t stop others from judging how I look, but now I know it is they who are wrong, not me.
Sign up for The Bold Italic newsletter to get the best of the Bay Area in your inbox every week.
Getting dressed for the office always sucked, too. I’d often try on multiple outfits because I’d have thoughts like, “Is this subtle enough to avoid those creepy compliments from that one male co-worker?” or “I like this, but it might bring too much attention to me or distract from my presentation.”
I’d usually wear a coat all day, sweating or not, just to hide my body. Most men don’t deal with this type of stress — they’re not worried they will receive unwanted attention, be passed over for a promotion, or mansplained to because of their appearance or gender.
Removing the work environment from my life has allowed me to feel attractive when I’m just being comfortable at home. I never understood how deeply I equated my looks to my value as a human being until the Covid-19 shutdown. Now, I don’t need to look traditionally made-up and feminine to feel self-assured and pretty.
Another benefit of working from home is not having to deal with sexual harassment. It’s hard to remember a workplace that didn’t have at least one guy I’d get weird vibes from, and after the #MeToo movement, I can rightly say countless women have had the same experience.
Former bosses have made sexually explicit comments to me or asked me to lunch one too many times. And once, I even had a 50-year-old married colleague tell me he was in love with me.
Today I’m free from this bullshit and have newly realized how disgusting and unacceptable these instances were. If and when I go back to the office, I’ll be stronger to take on this discrimination, not just laugh and smile out of awkwardness and intimidation. I will report inappropriate behavior and call out injustices.
Wearing a mask and physically distancing has helped deter this kind of behavior in public, too. Not to take away from the seriousness of wearing a face covering, but God it’s relieving to go out in public unseen.
At the grocery store, the dude behind me in line has to stay six feet away, so he can’t try to strike up an awkward conversation, and the male employee can’t rudely dismiss me based on whatever I look like that day. Now, it’s as if men and women are treated slightly more similarly than before. We all just look like faces with masks. Not feeling as insecure in public about my clothes or face is incredibly freeing. These lifestyle changes have shown me new perspectives, and for me, that has meant an evolved sense of self-worth.
Every woman’s experience with inequality is different, especially considering the intersectionality of race and socioeconomic status that intensifies these prejudices. All women have the right to dress how they want — pajamas or to the nines — and feel empowered by that choice because they are doing it to feel good, not because the pressure of society or social media is forcing them to.
Even with the enormous strides made toward gender equality, so much of our minds and daily lives are still bogged down with enduring toxicity. Women are valued for their appearance more than their intelligence, personality, or work ethic, while men are valued exactly for those traits. We continue to fight for equal pay, to uphold our reproductive rights, and for a society free of discrimination.
I’m grateful to be employed, healthy, and to have had time to reflect on my past during the pandemic. I’ve learned to recognize the struggles of women and appreciate their stories more deeply. Before the pandemic, I was less vocal about my feminist beliefs, but I will no longer be a bystander to other women’s challenges or my own.
I will continue to fight against oppressive behaviors, pressures, and circumstances that all women experience. Who knew that spending six months in sweatpants would bring such clarity of thought?
