Editor’s note: Some Facebook group keeps directing Lauper fans to come hate on this review. We’ve considered our words and research — and the feedback from complainers. The story has been updated, but our take remains the same: Lauper delivered a meh concert.
Sorry. (Not sorry.)
I am not here to hate on an icon’s farewell tour. But the adoration that’s trickling out today about Cyndi Lauper’s concert needs a little perspective. Comeuppance. Okay I lied, maybe I’m feeling a little bitchy.
Lauper — known for her unique voice, activism, and bleach-blonde 80s hairstyles — delivered less of a self-sendoff and more of a Sesame Street variety hour on Tuesday night at the Chase Center. I often want legends to connect more with the audience, but honestly, Lauper could have held back a little.
Did I hate it? No. I genuinely liked the show, but I didn’t love it. And I refuse to call it a great concert just because she is 71 and retiring, and an influential woman with a powerful voice and many trailblazing accolades. Lauper stans should honestly just stop reading here. This concert delivered some high notes amid a simple setup that needed editing and a few more frills. And since the good vibes are overflowing in other reviews, I’m mostly here to spill some tea.
My boyfriend bought us nosebleeds because he’s a solid Gen X’er with a love of the Goonies. We found our seats in outer space early enough to spot my new addiction Trixie Mattel, who mixed some music for an audience who I doubt recognizes her. I’ll say this about Trixie: She can not sing or dance, but shake a huge wig behind a DJ booth? Yes, absolutely.
Cyndi appears not long after and sings something pitchy. I’ve been told several times since I published this story that the first song was She Bop, which reached number three on the Billboard Top 100. Apologies readers: I was pooping in diapers in September 1984, and never heard of this classic until this week.
I do not recognize much of the music, and feel free to skewer me for that unalterable truth. I was born in the 80s and only know two diehard Lauper singles in my lifetime: “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” AKA that time Lorelai Gilmore looked like Nancy Reagan. And “Time After Time” that unforgettable threeway between Alan Cumming, Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow. Okay, and that Dr. Pepper commercial was pretty iconic.
The two mega-hits come after a nearly 3-hour runtime. The lead-up moments had her strumming a fucking Zydeco washboard, and other times when a scarf wistfully dances in the air like a really cheap interlude at Cirque du Soleil. Or that bag in American Beauty.
In between all that Lauper talks and talks, and talks some more. We learn she doesn’t know how to open a suitcase, but remembers to address us as the “Bay Area” audience, and she champions abortion rights. And while it’s all moving and poignant in a post-Trump election malaise, she also holds our attention at other points about nothing in particular.
Her politics of course felt endearing and resonant to our collective progressive values in San Francisco, and we all applauded when she spoke about women’s independence and being able to have their own bank accounts after 1971.
Then she tells us “the gays want glamour” — um, yes, where is it — a line fed to her by Christian Siriano after he dressed her in an unfortunate red blazer. She tears that off along with her blonde wig to perform in a tailored look with a ball skirt, while wearing a black head condom.
The finale finally comes and it’s crazy town. Trixie reappears alongside Cyndi in red polka dot looks designed by artist Yayoi Kusama.
Have I mentioned I love Trixie Mattel? Because I do. For that matter I also love Christian Siriano. That doesn’t mean “Girls Want to Have Fun” is a song made for Trixie. (That black gown did look great on Cyndi, though). Reddit said it better than I can about the finale, which you should watch for yourself and decide. But honestly I find it telling the performance is nowhere on Mattel’s Instagram.
I want to talk more about how Lauper was a trailblazer, with her debut album She’s So Unusual making her the first woman to have four top-five hits from a single album on the Billboard Hot 100. In 2008 she became a true champion for the queer community, too, becoming a co-founder of the True Colors Fund, which aims to end homelessness among LGBTQ+ youth.
But I think you can find adoration and a deeper Lauper history today on KQED, Bay Area Reporter and San Francisco Magazine, where it feels a lot like they traded free tickets to say something fun about Tuesday night. Or maybe they loved it and I’m just a hater? I don’t know. I enjoyed how authentic Lauper’s show felt, from all of her anecdotes to her pitchy, but powerful vocals. Sure she didn’t hit all those high notes, but I was grateful for no autotune or muscly dancers doing weird choreo.
I can and would recommend seeing this show because Lauper is an important voice both in song and activism, and she’s leaving the stage. Her sincerity and silliness were both charming, but was this her best? Come on now.
Saul Sugarman is editor in chief of The Bold Italic.
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