Before Christmas 2017, the peninsula town of San Carlos held its annual wine stroll, an event that brought in more than 450 tipsy revelers who got to taste wines from 18 different vintners. It wasn’t my first such event (does wandering through Napa itself count as one big wine stroll?), but it was perhaps the largest—and most social—that I’d attended. Among the 16 tasting locations spread up and down Laurel Street, you couldn’t help but butt into people’s conversations as they revisited a Pinot Noir or shared a smile over a shared obsession of an hors d’oeuvre — which were served to ensure that revelers didn’t black out in their grape-fueled enthusiasm (thank you).
After spending my afternoon there, I came to learn that there are several distinct personality types that populate such a wine-stravaganza. Here they are, in their full glory:
The Business Drinker
The business drinker’s goal is to taste each and every wine from every single tasting spot. They down each glass as quickly as possible, then move on to the next tasting location. No chitchat, no munching on snacks. There’s a schedule to stick to — this thing ends at 4:00 p.m. on the dot! They have one of two goals: to get their money’s worth or to get shitfaced (although either way, it ends in the latter).
The “We Had No Idea This Was Happening Today” Drinkers
This couple who came downtown for brunch and suddenly realized that there was more day drinking to be had. They have no idea what’s going on, but they wander around happily, wine in hand and a smile on their faces. They make for good conversation; maybe you’ll join them for brunch next weekend.
The Connoisseur
“Ah, yes, do I taste hints of oak in this Sauvignon Blanc?” The connoisseur doesn’t care so much about quantity of wine consumed but wants to get a firm understanding of each wine she tastes, from where the grapes were picked to whether the winery has a tasting room she can visit next weekend for a more in depth follow-up.
The Wine Lover
A close relative of the Connoisseur, the Wine Lover is also interested in the details of each wine but at a less critical level. She’s still going to down each tasting rather than pour out the contents of the glasses she doesn’t like, but that’s mostly because she likes every glass for its unique qualities. The Wine Lover is most likely to spend way more than she meant to on wine-bottle purchases that day.
The Snack Attackers
These people also didn’t realize there was a wine walk going on but don’t care to pay up and join in the tasting. Instead, they’ll just wander from storefront to storefront and eat the “free” snacks being offered at tasting stations. They’re kind of irritating, but also, you’re drunk at this point, so it doesn’t even matter.
The Noob
This person is easy to spot by the faces they make when they sip a varietal they find distasteful. They don’t know much of anything about wine but think that a big wine tasting would make a good introduction. They’re in a bit over their heads and may resort to just eating the snacks…unless they turn into a Wine Lover first.
The Schmoozer
Maybe they’re in the wine biz; maybe they’re a local business owner; or maybe they just happened to go to high school with everyone (or their brother, daughter or cousin). The Schmoozer sidles up to winemakers and within 10 minutes has become their BFF. The Schmoozer has, undoubtedly, figured out how to get a deal on wines, future tastings and other upcoming events. Befriend him.
