Blame SF Standard. Or Partiful. Or Curious Connie. Secret parties have died in the same town that cultivated the news feed, the group chat, and the fear of missing out. I did not advertise this dance and no one whispered it to me. But I missed the first Cave Rave two years ago, and I wanted to experience and tell you about this one. By the time we arrived to dance Saturday night, more than 400 RSVPs shared a similar notion.
Last night, we all "snuck" down the stone staircases and winding paths at Lands End. People entered a well-known cave next to Sutro Baths; one that's scrawled with a neon evil eye, a skull, and other graffiti from hikers and partiers over the years. If like my group, you made it early, several instruments played in what I thought was turning into a blood sacrifice.
"There must be another cave nearby," my friend said. There wasn't. In fact, this was the same cave they partied in 2024. That the "secret location" was exactly the same — and yet, not disclosed until the day of the event — made me giggle a little bit.
Of course we were told to be discreet, but not long after this odd prayer circle ended with some applause, park rangers showed up to tell everyone to get lost. We wandered around the Ocean Beach bonfires while Partiful blasts blew up my phone.
When we came back around 10:30 p.m., the main parking lot finally cleared out. People silently walked under a bright moon, and almost no one flipped on a phone screen to guide them. The bass booms from the cave we heard from the entrance and grew louder as we approached a DJ booth.
An early set felt pretty tame with a group still filling in. By 11 p.m. though, throngs of Gen Z swayed to vibrating bass, clutching large cans of NÜTRL and Bud Light, while the stench of weed wafted overhead. Black lights scattered purple hues across the cave walls while more people filtered in. I danced awhile with my boyfriend near the front until people started getting pushy.
Two years ago, Zara Stone wrote all these rules that dictated how to get on the secret party list. Some parties operate entirely by text. Others make you DM a certain Instagram account at a specific time just to get the details. Or something like that.
To me it's not that sexy. Police shutdown is a real concern, but nothing beats the idea that you're in on something exclusive. It all reminds me of that Ugly Betty episode where Amanda makes an event flyer that says basically nothing:
"If they want to be there badly enough they’ll figure all that out. You have to make it hard to get on the list, that way the party will be full of people desperate to be there and they’ll think it’s great no matter how much of a humongous turd it is."
This party was not a turd, but we also didn't make it until midnight. In my faux fur jacket, I'd stuffed a banana flask that I picked up in Mission from a completely adorable vintage store called Landline Home. It had iced tea. I'm sober, and absent any other entertainment other than bopping around, this party lost my attention after a couple hours.
"Awww, was the vibe bad?" A raver girl in a fuzzy cat ear headband asked as we were walking away. No, I told her — it was fabulous.
Saul Sugarman is editor-in-chief and owner of The Bold Italic.
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To be part of the next Cave Rave
You might check out Le Crew DJs on Instagram (and I'm guessing TikTok).
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Saul Sugarman
Bouquets to Art is a floral exhibition that's now in its 42nd year, featuring roughly 125 designers creating botanical interpretations of the de Young and Legion of Honor's permanent collection. Nearly 85,000 people visited during its run at the beginning of March. But if you're coming tho read this story – know it's about the party moreso than flowers.
My longtime freelancer Courtney Muro came back to write a little something, too. Honestly she got a free trip to Mendocino and wondered if we'd include it. I said sure, so this one's more advertorial, but if it interests you:
Courtney Muro
April is still coming
- Hunky Jesus is April 5th and I already wrote a preview.
- Red Curtain Addict is hosting their second annual Bay’s Stage Arts Soirée on Thursday, April 9 at Local Edition.
- SF Ballet has—count them—two premieres. La Sylphide on April 10th and Mere Mortals comes back on April 24th!!! (Read my review.)
- April 16th is the de Young gala late night. (Their expensive AF dinner portion is already sold out.)
- SF Ballet's Young Patron's Circle is hosting their Spring soirée on April 17th at The Academy. (Can't find the ticket page but it's listed here.)
- April 18th is both Dress for Success gala and LGBT Center Soirée. (Of which we are actually a media sponsor, but I will be over at Dress For Success gala.) Dress for Success tells me they are adding a $100 after party tier. Details coming.
- On April 29th is Art Bash at SF MOMA.
Some extra credit on secret parties
Via SFGate in 2021: I went to three secret San Francisco concerts in one weekend
