By Ethan Kanat

San Francisco is about as far west as you can go in the continental United States. It’s a frontier city in a frontier state, founded by pirates and gold miners. As such, it makes sense that the city would have its secrets; ways to indulge private pleasures, people who can connect you to the fringes of society, and secret places where the deal might go down. These are the city’s hidden corners, the kind of spots one might pick for a secret lover’s tryst, a shady drug deal, or maybe an exchange of ransom money. Out of the way locales known only to the most local of locals. Here are but a few.

Photo by clairity

Eagle Point

If you head out to the Legion of Honor on a foggy weekday and decide that, instead of visiting the museum you would rather do something secretive, suspicious, or illegal, you won’t have to travel far. Simply drive past the big fountain in front of the museum entrance. When you hit the golf course, turn left and go all the way to the end of the parking lot. There you will find piles of dead fairway and a couple of haphazardly placed barriers blocking what looks like a hiking trail. This is the entrance to Eagle Point.

The Eagle Point trail winds down behind the golf course toward a look-out point that features a stunning vista of a giant rock covered in bird shit. The trail itself is a deserted warren of hobo hidey holes and other little out-of-the way places that look like they were worn into the flora by repeated use. Any one of these little tree caves would be ideal for pot smoking, trading top secret information or semi-public sex. A few other people will occasionally walk by though, so it’s probably a good idea to bring a camo-colored blanket and keep your voice to a whisper.

Photo by clairity

Sutro Caves

The ruins of the Sutro Baths lie directly beneath the tony Cliff House restaurant at the outskirts of Ocean Beach. Tourists stop by the bus load to pose in front of the Camera Obscura and take in the champagne brunch on the weekends. But most people steer clear of the big, fetid puddle that is all that remains of the famous San Francisco landmark below. Fewer still take the time to walk down the hill and plumb the depths of the dark, dank caves at the far end of the site.

This will work to your advantage if you’re looking to arrange a secret rendezvous or just privately enjoy the sound of mating harbor seals. Simply wind your way down any one of the crumbling trails that lead to the baths from the street. The caves are lurking ominously in the far corner. Some of them are blocked by a few lengths of rusty chain. The largest cave is easily accessible, but still spooky and somewhat foul. Just follow the light and the wet foot smell to the end of the cave. There you will find a rocky precipice where you can drink beer from a paper bag or have a conversation that will be lost among the sounds of crashing waves.

Photos by candiedwomanire

The Wave Organ

The Wave Organ was designed by a team of scientists from the Exploratorium in the late 80s, and it seems their sole purpose was to create a secret destination for curious San Franciscans in the throes of a psychedelic journey. Tucked away at the end of a jetty at the end of a narrow parking lot behind the yacht club at the end of Crissy Field, The Wave Organ is not something you just stumble upon. To find it you would have to be guided by either a detailed map or some sort of drug-induced vision.

If it is the latter that brings you to The Wave Organ, prepare to have your mind blown. The organ consists of a series of tubes and pipes that have been built into a Stonehenge-esque array of benches and platforms sticking out into the middle of the bay. One end of the tubes runs under water, stopping at various lengths to pick up the gurgling sounds of the rising tide. The other ends poke out in various clusters around the organ, creating a bizarre symphony that changes depending on where you sit or stand. The sound is similar to an upset stomach, as played on a broken tuba.

For the best experience, go to The Wave Organ in the middle of the night. Leave your map at home and simply park your car somewhere in the Marina and start walking toward the water. It may take you a while to find it, but the journey will make you feel as though you have wandered into a strange, bubbling netherworld beneath the fog.

Photos by haruspex and brad-514

Macondray Lane

Since taking a staring role in Armistead Maupin’s Tales Of The City , Macondray Lane can hardly be considered much of a secret. The upscale residential alley runs between Taylor and Leavenworth and features well manicured landscapes and beautiful multi-million dollar homes. At best it is a secret place to sip chardonnay and trade interior design secrets.

Still, Macondray Lane is a charming little grace note to the city’s already stunning landscape. It’s worth a look for its views alone.

Photos by fatemeh and wheatland

Bourbon & Branch and Otis

In a city obsessed with eating and drinking, the idea of a “secret” bar seems a little false. Even the most tucked away watering holes will be discovered, reviewed, and filled to over-flowing within weeks of opening. But a late night rendezvous is nothing without a little intrigue, so if a secret bar is on your agenda, it’s best to pick a place with no discernible sign or marking on an otherwise unremarkable street. At the very least you won’t have to worry about clueless out-of-towners stumbling in and spoiling the mood.

Bourbon & Branch is well-known for their role in the current handmade cocktail craze, and it’s a role they take very seriously. This is not the place to order a watermelon cosmo. If you want a fine selection of bourbons and very upscale cocktails served by gorgeous cocktail waitresses in a dark, meticulously crafted antique environment, this is place for you. Just be sure you take the time to look up the “password” online before heading to the bar. Otherwise, the hostess will make you wait on the sidewalk while she seats other, more well-informed patrons.

Photo by superde1uxe

Otis, on the other hand is more modern and laid-back. They welcome everybody from the after work crowd to the late, late night crowd. You just have to find the place first. And if you happen to be part of the aforementioned late, late crowd, this may prove somewhat difficult.

Tucked into the middle of a retail section of Maiden Lane, Otis has nothing facing the street other than a door. After midnight, there are no other businesses open within a five block radius. If you find yourself at Otis in the middle of the night, it’s because you meant to be there. The inside consists of nothing more than a few seats and tables and a tiny bar guarded by a giant peacock. There is also a small attic room upstairs, but you might miss it unless you happen to look in that direction on your way back from the bathroom.

Perhaps the best thing about Otis is that it is open late — 3 or 4 a.m., depending on how successful you are at charming the bartender. They won’t serve you booze after 2 a.m., but they also won’t say anything if you want to take your lover upstairs for a little heavy petting. In fact, the place is dark and usually empty by then, so chances are they won’t even notice.

Photos by Kglavin and tylerdurden

Coyote Point

Courtesy of Brandon LaSan, aka DJ Yoko Solo and co-owner of Quaketrap Records

“If one were to drive down 101 past the airport to Coyote Point, entering Coyote Point, taking the first right at the ranger gate and driving past the mammoth playground, one might find a giant lot overlooking a crumbling path. One can wander along this path to a freakish beach filled with dead crabs and old carpet as fucking insane jumbo jets descend to land and hang in the air absurdly before you, the Bay stretching out and looking semi-wretched, but beautiful. There are people swimming too, but more importantly there are big jets, big jets, big jets every 3 minutes.”

Presidio Pet Cemetery

Courtesy of Hannah Sitzer, owner of Antlre Design Agency:

“Ok, besides the Seward Street Slides — it sounds freaky, but it’s not — I like the Presidio Pet Cemetery under the Golden Gate Bridge. It is full of letters and art saying things like ‘Fluffy, you were the only one who understood me. Thanks for letting me dress you up like a ballerina.’”

Photo by pbo31

Sutro Tower

Courtesy of Bruce O’Leary, aka DJ Doc Fu:

“If you ever wanted to hide in plain sight, there’s a parking lot within a parking lot on top of Twin Peaks. Instead of parking by the edge to look at the view, pull behind and park underneath Sutro Tower. I’ve seen some pretty shady stuff go down there in full view of the city.”

Design: Chris Nyffeler