In one scene in Disrupted, the 2016 memoir in which 52-year-old journalist Dan Lyons leaves the media industry to work at a start-up, Lyons describes the astonishing excesses of the (very unprofitable) company he works for:
“At noon, a group of bros meets in the lobby on the second floor to do pushups together. Upstairs there is a place where you can drop off your dry cleaning. Sometimes they bring in massage therapists. On the second floor there are shower rooms, which are intended for bike commuters and people who jog at lunchtime, but also have been used as sex cabins when the Friday happy hour gets out of hand.”
Start-up culture can vary depending on management, but much of what Lyons describes is not uncommon. Many start-ups have no idea how to manage their employees or resources, and investors will often tolerate their wild spending on absurd perks as long as the company makes it to an initial public offering and the venture capitalists can cash out. And often these perks can turn professionals into divas, e.g., “What do you mean we can’t afford an on-call masseuse anymore?!”
Besides Facebook’s ball pit, we figured that there were probably many more sordid tales of excess, absurdity and huge egos here in the Bay Area. So we asked people who’d worked at start-ups about the most insane things they’d ever seen.
“I worked at a place that rented out AT&T Park for a conference, then had a free Third Eye Blind concert at the Fillmore. Two years later, they couldn’t make payroll, and when payday came, their employees got nothing.”
— Anonymous, 30, San Francisco
“A week-long fight over what brand of chocolate-covered almonds to stock in the (free) dispenser. Also, one time I was setting up for an event, and one of the engineers made me stop for an hour because heneededto sleep on a couch in the same room. I’m still mad about it.”
— Anonymous, San Francisco
“[My ex] and his employees would smoke DMT together. Also, we fucked on all the office furniture.”
—Anonymous, 24, San Jose
“I remember that we had three brands of yogurt. Also, I was amazed by the flavored-water idea — truly amazed. I recall a long conversation with a colleague when they ran out of the watermelon flavor about how real water no longer tastes ‘real enough’ for him.”
—Anonymous, 22, from India but interned in San Francisco
“During a morning run, I heard music coming from AT&T Park. Turns out Genentech was having a Justin Timberlake and P!nk concert just for their employees and their families. A ton of us non-employees huddled together to enjoy the free concert through the bars on the sides of the stadium.”
—Nicole, 23, San Francisco
“I was once asked to hire a singing baby for a guy who was about to go on paternity leave. Another employee told me that if I was ever asked to do that for him, he would quit on the spot.”
—Sam, 26, San Francisco
“I went to a holiday party for a tech company that had rented out SFMOMA. The entire thing.”
— Anonymous, 23, San Francisco
Do you have a similar story of tech excess? Share it in the comments section below.
