By Casey Miner
For the past year, I’ve been producing a podcast during which I spend a day or two with people who do interesting or unusual work. I don’t mean dirty jobs here; I mean surprising ones, like being the mock attacker in a women’s self-defense class or catering to the dietary preferences of the many animals at the Oakland Zoo. These people do important work that doesn’t generate headlines but affects a lot of people’s lives. Here’s what some of them have to say about the zaniest things that have happened on the job:
Ice Work if You Can Get It
“Someone lies on the ice — and this has happened — your clothes will freeze to the ice, and you’ve got to be peeled off.”
— Richard Rocha, director of operations for the Sharks Ice ice rink (a.k.a. the “Ice Guy”)
Noise Meets World
“One time we measured sound off the new Bay Bridge — we were picking up radio signals for some reason. We were [t]rying to listen to ambient noise and ended up hearing Christian talk radio through the air.”
Jared McDaniel and Jordan Roberts, acoustics consultants who measure the health effects of noise on people and marine life (a.k.a. the “Noise Police”)
Welcome to the Dollhouse
“It’s more like a set than actually living. So a good example of that would be, if you’re doing a house with a beautiful view, if you lived in the house, you’d put your sofa opposite the window so you can sit and look at that view all day. But when you’re staging a house, you put the sofa in front of the window facing you, so you say, ‘Oh my God, look at this beautiful living room, this beautiful view!’ It gives a different kind of illusion. You never want to run into the back of a sofa.”
— Cora Sue Anthony, home stager
Lice Work if You Can Get It
“Beer, gasoline, the sun, kerosene, Lysol, Listerine, mayonnaise, coconut oil, vinegar, olive oil, lime juice, mayonnaise.”
— Ineffective home remedies that customers have described to lice-removal specialists Pam Fukui and Sofia Deleuse (a.k.a. the “Lice Ladies”)
Picky Eaters
“Our vulture Jeff prefers black bunnies. So every time I open a box, if I find a black bunny, I have to put that aside in a separate box for him, because that’s his preference.”
— Oakland Zoo animal chef Stacy Kyles. Kyles keeps the bunnies in a special box in the freezer just for Jeff, right alongside the cinnamon-raisin bagels for the chimps and the list of what the monkeys will and won’t eat that week.
Who Wants to Be the Bad Guy?
“I felt like I was just like the Michelin tire man walking through a china shop of someone’s life. You’re in this bulky armor, and you’re backing up a woman, and you’re calling her a bitch, and at the same time you’re thinking, like, am I presenting a good target? Am I close enough to her for her to hit? What am I fucking up? Am I doing permanent, lasting damage to someone? Am I retraumatizing people? I don’t want to retraumatize people. I really want to help them work through trauma. Does this even work?”
— Tim Kinney, mock attacker in Impact Bay Area women’s self-defense classes
Walk and Talk
“People seem to be in the midst of such sadness a lot of the time — it’s really bizarre to just interact with so many people and realize that the majority of them are completely glazed over most of the time they’re in public, at least.”
— Johanna Holden, sidewalk canvasser, Hip Hop for Change
There’s Always Money in the Banana Costume
“I used to be terribly embarrassed, used to have to go through the process of reassuring myself that it’s perfectly natural and normal to have a man come in dressed as a ninja turtle or a sheep or whatever … a food, a chocolate chip cookie or a banana or something like that.”
— Duncan Fife, whose wife, Robin, runs the Bay Area singing-telegram company All Star Showgrams. Their five children all performed while growing up.
Want to hear these stories? Trust me, you do. Listen to Casey Miner’s podcast, The Specialist, on iTunes, Stitcher or wherever you get your podcasts, or check them out at specialistpodcast.com.
Check out more dispatches from our Weird Jobs series. Have you seen a strange job opening lately? Email tips@thebolditalic.com.
