By Wendy Steiner
Everyone thinks he’s a good wingman. I understand why –you want to think of yourself as suave and helpful. But believing it doesn’t make it true. I’m not saying being a bad wingman (or wingwoman) makes you a bad friend, but it does make you a liability at the bar.
I’m sure you consider meddling in your friend’s love life to be a sign that you care; you just want to see him live happily ever after. Unfortunately, these good intentions usually result in polite forced conversation or sharing an uncomfortable coffee with someone you found for your friend on the interwebs. Since there seems to be confusion about why some friends are not meant to hook other friends up, I’ve compiled a list of the tell-tale signs that you aren’t helping your friend get any:
1. You’re too good looking
You can’t be way better looking than the person you’re trying to set up. If you look like Ryan Gosling, do your pal a favor and stand as far away from him as possible. At best, it’s distracting and at worst, it gives the whole thing a creepy threesome vibe to have your abs around.
2. You’re in a relationship
I know you’re really stoked on life since you have a boyfriend or girlfriend that you can have sex with on the regular, but don’t let that warm body fool you into thinking you’re actually good at talking to other humans. You’re probably not. When was the last time you even talked to a single person?
3. You’re a little too funny
This is the same idea as being too good looking. Don’t Bogart the mic, dude. The point is not to upstage your friend. How bout you save your A material for the toast at their wedding?
4. You can’t count
I’ve seen wingmen who’ll leave their buddy with two potential smashes. Big mistake. If your friend needs helping getting one girl to talk to him, what makes you think he can handle himself around twins?
5. You’re bad at selecting targets
This is a classic mistake. Sometimes you might be close to the right person for your friend and other times you might not even be in the right gender ballpark. Think about who your friend would actually like and not just who you happened to spill beer on.
6. You’re impatient
Don’t try to seal the deal for your friend. Just let the night progress at its own pace. Too many wingmen don’t know when to get lost and let someone do their own thing. If you get too pushy it will definitely kill the vibe. Plus, the best wingmen are the ones that can convince their friend that they got the girl all on their own.
7. You make your friend’s sexuality unclear
It’s awesome how close you are to your same sex friend, but one of the simplest things you can do to help a homie’s romance is not be too ambiguous about your relationship with him. Then again, depending on your goal for the night, this may be an effective way to get girls to talk to you. Baby steps.
