By Molly Sanchez
Happy Valentine’s, Galentine’s, Anna Howard Shaw Day to you all. Whether you’re taken, single, or trussed up in a love dungeon somewhere, you’re gonna want to do something fun tomorrow. After all, holiday or no holiday, it’s going to be sunny as balls, and as residents of this normally foggy city we need to soak up the rays whenever we can. Here’s a rundown of cheap ass things to do, because you have 99 problems and in this town cash is definitely one of them.
Tour a Pirate Ship
I’m going to say that again. Tour a fucking pirate ship! You can tour two authentic pirate-style ships in the harbor at Oakland absolutely free (though a $5 donation is encouraged). The two ships, the Hawaiian Chieftan and the Lady Washington, have seen some shit in their day and are loaded with cool history. Plus, more recently they were both featured in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. The site doesn’t say whether BYOB rum is encouraged or discouraged, but I’d bring some just to be safe.
Go to Bernal Hill, Ask 36 Questions
By now we’ve all seen that “36 Questions to Make You Fall in Love” article in the New York Times. In 2015, local artists Mustafa Khan and Chris McCoy decided those questions need to get out in the open this Valentine’s Day. He engraved the questions on an antique treasure chest alongside a set of chairs and a “not reserved” sign on Bernal Hill. You and your date (or a total stranger) would sit at this table and fall in love with the killer view…and maybe each other. The box may not longer be there, but the sentiment remains. Why not go and create your own experience?
Drink Beer
This is the final weekend of SF Beer Week, so you’re pretty much obligated to get your drink on. There are too many cool events to put into one post so let’s impose a theme befitting the holiday: sweet and sour. For sweet, or a romantic postcoital snack with your valentine, try the beer ice cream floats at Woods on 18th. They’re teaming up with Bi-Rite’s ice cream to make this boozy dessert, and if their salted caramel beer earlier is any indication they know sweet well. Don’t stay thirsty my friends.
Look at Nudie Pics
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, everyone loves pretty, naked people. The folks at SOMArts know that and are hosting an exhibit of erotic photography called On The Edge 4. For ten bucks you can access the gallery and talk to the artists. To make things even spicier, they’ll host a lingerie fashion show that evening to really get you in the mood.
Watch Comedy- DUH
I would be remiss if I did an events roundup without mentioning all the cheap comedy you can watch this weekend. Mutiny Radio is hosting a $5 show to celebrate the last night of Sketchyfest, an offshoot of Sketchfest for people who didn’t make it in the real festival (don’t ask). They have a great lineup and a fun, intimate space that is always BYOB. There’s also Hostel Comedy, where a local comedian challenges a tourist from a nearby hostel to try stand-up for the first time. The Freak Power Radio Hour is a new show debuting this weekend which will feature comedians, improv, and a burlesque dancer hosting a live radio show. As always, you can check out this blog for details on where you can laugh around town.
Dance Your Ass Off
Technically, this party starts tonight but since it ends at 2 a.m. I’m going to count that as a Valentine’s Day event — only God can judge me. The Makeout Room is throwing a dance party where they’ll bump 2000’s indie music. Did you get “All the Small Things” stuck in your head? Yeah, me too. Turn off the lights and carry me to this event please.
Museum of Dead Relationships
We may be over our exes (right?) but sometimes certain things linger. Tangible things — letters, gifts, or in my case a plush cow head hat. Whatever they may be, there’s now a museum exhibit dedicated to our painful memories: “The Museum of Broken Relationships” at Root Division Gallery. The show contains artifacts of relationships past gathered from people all over the world. Go alone or with a lover, but DO NOT show up wearing that old college sweatshirt (you know the one I mean). You have to throw that thing out. It’s time.
Photo via Jake Gonen
