By Molly Sanchez
Telling someone to eat a dick is pretty much a catch-all insult. You can say it jokingly: “You don’t think the college years of Boy Meets World were better than the high school years? Eat a dick, man!” It can be kind of a defeatist thing: “Man, I got a parking ticket and my rent is due and I forgot to pack lunch? This day can eat a dick.”
But it is a double dog dare step up to tell someone to eat a bag of dicks. The plurality of the insult raises it to King Kamehameha levels of shade throwing.
Luckily there’s now a way you can literally tell your enemies to eat a bag of dicks. Gummy ones, to be exact. Pixable reported that Dicks By Mail is a website that will send a bag of cute little gummy dick candies to any address for only $15 bucks. You can’t customize the message that comes with the package, it’s simply “eat a bag of dicks.”
According to the company’s blog posts, some of them written while allegedly drunk, Dick By Mail’s Brady Grumpelt “once had a dream of telling people to eat a bag of dicks” and thus the company was born. He also adds that thus far the concept has been a success: “I’m swimming in dicks over here.”
The site is also careful to point out that this venture is all in good fun. “This site was created to put a smile on people’s faces. It’s not meant to be a threat or a way to bully,” reads a disclaimer.
I’ve reached out to Dicks By Mail to confirm this is a real service and not just a hilarious joke but have yet to receive a response. If this is a hoax, then everyone involved can … well, you know what they can do.
Via Pixable, image via Dicksbymail.com
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