FRIDAY FIVE

San Francisco has an incredible food scene, so there’s a reason we love to eat out here, even when our bank accounts don’t agree. But dining at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day can actually be the worst.

If you’re coupled or thruppled up in this city, we highly recommend skipping the overpriced prix fixe menus and think a little out of the box for a V-Day date that will be more romantic (and cheaper). Save your money for Hamilton if you haven’t seen it yet, and consider these following options for February 14.

1. Get high on gourmet edibles at Dolores Park

Since Valentine’s Day is on a Friday this year, hopefully you and your boo can leave work a bit early to do the most San Francisco thing you can do: Get high in Dolores Park and watch the sunset. Since it’s not a weekend day, you might not have your typical vendors like the coconut rum man, but surely the truffle guy, or a truffle guy copycat, will be around. Or, first head to one of the dispensaries, like the Apothecarium or the Mission Cannabis Club, to indulge in some of the fanciest weed chocolates out there these days: a toffee crunch bar, luscious milk chocolates to relax you, or a special dark chocolate. Then stop at Bi-Rite for the second half of your date: a snack extravaganza at home.

Dolores Park (Mission) | Dolores & 19th Street

2. See ‘The SpongeBob Musical’

Yes, this is a thing. While we’re not explicitly suggesting you get high before this activity, it would probably add to this trippy experience. We’re all about the ’90s comebacks this year, so we’re here for The SpongeBob Musical, obviously. If your date is a millennial, they’ll agree. This award-winning show is in San Francisco from February 12 to 16 at the Golden Gate Theatre in the Theater District. (Yes, we have one.) While it sounds like something your five-year-old niece would enjoy, legitimate theater critics have praised this musical for its creativity. Tickets start at $56 for balcony seats, up to roughly $225 for the best seats in the house.

The SpongeBob Musical | BroadwaySF.com

3. A boozy dim sum brunch

Who needs dinner on Friday when you can have a boozy brunch the next day instead? Chubby Noodle is arguably the ultimate fun-brunch spot in San Francisco — the place you go to get wild with your friends. You can listen to rap while eating a delicious noodle brunch and sipping mimosas. Typically a birthday party favorite, this place can also make for a very fun Valentine’s date. For the usual $45, you can get a bottomless dim sum brunch with plenty of mimosas and drunken laughs that will last you a lifetime — or until you break up.

570 Green Street (North Beach) | ChubbyNoodle.com

4. Cuddle with goats

This date idea is for everyone celebrating love on Valentine’s Day, including those who don’t have a partner. And no, this won’t be some depressing night out by yourself, because you will be in the company of cuddly goats. Honestly, who even needs a date when you have cuddly goats? Hosted by the East Cut Community Benefit District, which has put on previous goat events (they must love goats), a free Valentine’s Day Goat Happy Hour happens in North Beach from 4 to 8 p.m. on February 14. There will also be a photo booth where you can get a pic of you and your goat cuddling. Date or no date, a good time will be had.

580 Green Street (North Beach) | ValueCulture.com

5. Decentralized dance party

If you’re in support of a decentralized internet, you might enjoy yourself at a decentralized dance party. On the evening of Valentine’s Day, join fellow decentralized dancers in Sue Bierman Park by the Embarcadero for a “spontaneous dance party,” where people are encouraged to bring their own boomboxes (buy one at a thrift store for $5) to create a synchronized sound system via the DJ’s FM radio transmitter. Admission is free, but it sounds like costumes are required. According to the event description: “In the past, people have built sound systems in shopping carts and baby carriages, constructed insane backpack-borne laser light shows, crowd-surfed each other up escalators, worn elaborate costumes.” So, get creative.

Sue Bierman Park (Embarcadero) | Decentralized Dance Party