I hate crowds, and I know I’m not alone. Here are some places to avoid this weekend if you hear the word “crowd” and immediately think, “fuck that shit.”

1. Chinatown

Chinatown is going to lose its goddamn mind this weekend during its 26th annual Lunar New Year parade and street fair. This event is free and happens Saturday and Sunday (the parade is Saturday only). Here’s the parade route. I suggest checking if it coincides with anywhere you want to get to in a timely manner.

2. The Presidio

Off the Grid’s Presidio Picnic started back up last week with new food and the same hoards of hungry, attractive people. Proceed with caution — and maybe sunblock.

3. Fort Mason

This Saturday is the SF Craft Beer Festival from 4:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m., and let’s be real, drinking begets more drinking so maybe just avoid the whole Marina on Saturday night (if you don’t do that already). Oh, and Off the Grid comes back here Friday night too, so plan your trip to the Marina Dateway (Safeway) accordingly.

4. Cal Academy of Sciences

This Saturday and Sunday are both free days for Parkside and Sunset residents. I’ve been to a free museum day in my time and things go zero-to-crowded real quick. It’s also a free day for Bank of America or Merrill Lynch debit or credit card holders on Saturday at the de Young, but this offer includes other museums like the Contemporary Jewish Museum and Legion of Honor, so you could still give the de Young a shot if you feel brave.

5. Yosemite Ave and 3rd Street in Bayview

The 35th annual Soul Food Festival and block party is happening on Saturday, and if the pictures are any indication this food might be worth contact with other humans.

6. Dolores Park

Because it’s Dolores Park and it’s going to be sunny-ish. Use your heads, people. There might even be guinea pigs there.

Image via Thinkstock

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