Once, a groom’s matrimonial duties consisted mainly of buying jewelry and saying a few words at the proper moment. Three months’ salary and “Will you marry me?” were followed by months of inactivity — maybe a tux fitting — then another hardware purchase and a brisk “I do.” But now we dudes are officially in the mix, connubially. As a newly engaged fellow myself, I have spent the last few months searching for a venue, drafting shockingly long guest lists, and dreaming about a time when my lovely lady and I can finally settle down to eat a million catered samples.
Here in San Francisco, there are seemingly limitless choices for every facet of getting hitched. The only exception, of course, is our state’s idiotic refusal to allow everyone to marry their partner of choice. (A situation that will hopefully be rectified both quickly and permanently.) Regardless of whether your ceremony will be legally recognized, the pressure is on to execute a singular event that perfectly represents you and your betrothed, both individually and as a couple, while simultaneously honoring and exploding matrimonial traditions. It can seem impossible, or at least impossibly expensive.
So, as a service to future grooms everywhere, I have found some great local options for everything from venues, catering, and music to suits, rings, and booze. Most categories feature two options: one for more expansive budgets and another that recognizes not everyone has limitless funds. Make no mistake: Wedding planning is a demented realm of topsy-turvy where cost is often utterly disconnected from actual value. So take a deep breath, chose carefully, and remember, more than anything else, this is supposed to be fun.
Speaking of fun, what could be more memorable and hilarious than having your ceremony in front of a giant diorama of zebras and baboons, or your reception next to a full-fledged coral reef? All that and more is possible at the California Academy of Sciences, which offers the chance to rent out any one of its 10 event spaces, from the glass-encased rainforest to the planetarium. As Tisha Hong, the Academy’s special events coordinator, told me, “Some couples are looking for a venue that they can dress up with decorations. Our exhibits are the
entertainment.” It’s not cheap (packages start around $7,500), but you get what you pay for. And in this case, what you’re paying for is a freaking T. rex skeleton at your wedding.
If big and loud isn’t your thing, why not try the lovely Sunnyside Conservatory, which is nestled in a hundred-year-old palm grove. The building itself dates to 1898, but was only reopened in late 2009 after a 10-year restoration project. The venue is small — seating capacity is listed at 71 — but it more than makes up for its size with a gorgeous, redwood interior. Even better, since the Conservatory is owned by the San Francisco Recreation and Parks Department, it’s relatively cheap to rent. (Rates start at $550 for two hours.)
The where of your wedding is certainly important, but I think it’s the what that is most important, as in “What are we going to eat?” One option that offers both an amazing meal at a reasonable price and a quintessentially San Franciscan experience is hiring a food truck to do your catering. One of the best in the city is the El Norteño Taco Truck, which is usually found parked on Bryant Street in SOMA, but can travel anywhere from Los Gatos to Marin. Owner Magdalena Quintanar is ready to
offer your guests her rightly famous carnitas or el pastor tacos at prices starting around just $15/head.
If you’re thinking of exploring the non-truck-based gustatory scene, a great place to start is SF’s own 4505 Meats, which draws devoted carnivores to the Ferry Building Farmers’ Market every Tuesday. Allie Adelman, who works in 4505’s events division, says couples can request anything from chef Ryan Farr’s famous sandwiches and sausages to “amazing” charcuterie plates paired with local cheeses to a full-fledged pig roast. And special requests are encouraged, Adelman says. “I feel it’s very important to have some of your favorite foods on your big day.” (Pricing depends on what you want and how many people will be at your event.)
The easy, low-budget solution here is a command performance from DJ iPod, which I far prefer to some cheesy, prop-toting “event DJ.” But after attending something like 90 kajillion weddings over the past five years, I can honestly say that there’s nothing like the energy that a live band brings to a reception. Energy is certainly what you will get from MJ’s Brass Boppers, a San Francisco-based, New Orleans–style second-line brass band.
Founder Michael Jones is from the Big Easy himself, but many of the other band members are Bay Area natives. They play high-energy funk and swing that will have everyone dancing, and they are happy to take special requests as well. (MJ’s Brass Boppers will set you back approximately $750/hour.)
Totally different in terms of genre, but just as effective at starting a dance party, is Foreverland, a 14-piece Michael Jackson tribute band that re-creates Jacko’s hits with thrilling accuracy. (This sort of size and verisimilitude means the average bill for a wedding is between $5,000 and $10,000.) Matthew Layne, one of Foreverland’s quartet of singers, admits that weddings are among his favorite gigs to play. “Everyone just witnessed a very personal and emotional moment between two people they care about, so it is especially fun for us to start a fire on stage to start the celebration. A metaphorical fire.”
Looking good should be high on every groom’s list. After all, this is your chance to rock a suit or tuxedo like you mean it. And, if you’re ready to drop a little money, why not go all-out and have a tailor-made suit? Aksel Paris is a line of sleek, European-inspired men’s fashion that offers custom-tailored suits featuring fabric from Holland & Sherry, a 170-year-old Savile Row clothing firm. Aksel Paris’ founder, Stanford MBA grad Yazid Aksas, says all grooms should consider going with a bespoke garment. “Treating yourself with
something unique and custom is a must for your big day.” Currently, Aksel Paris has only an online presence, but Yazid will come to your home or workplace and fit you himself. (Suits start at $590.)
On the other end of the spectrum is Nob Hill’s beloved Lan’s Formal Wear, which has offered tailoring, alterations, and suit rentals for 20 years. Owner Sam Lan will fit you for a suit, alter it on the spot, and send you out the door for only $89 for the whole weekend. She also does tailoring for the ladies, so you and your bride can go to visit Sam together.
As a guy with basically no knowledge about jewelry that isn’t meant to be eaten, the pressure to find the “right” rings is very intimidating. So why not forge your own like mighty Hephaestus, the Greek God of blacksmiths? Adam Clark, a local jeweler who founded DIY Wedding Ring, has been helping couples make their own rings for the past 19 years.
Would-be smiths can either bring their own heirloom rings and stones or buy metals and gems directly from the shop. “100 percent of our customers are beyond amazed at what they produce,” says Adam. “And it means so much more.” (Ring workshops start at $900, plus materials.)
Rings with a different sort of meaning can be found at Brilliant Earth, which sells ethical jewelry from its downtown San Francisco showroom. Brilliant Earth’s sourcing process is very thorough, avoiding both “conflict” gems and metals, and the environmentally destructive and toxic elements of some mining processes. Also, the company donates 5 percent of its profits to communities negatively impacted by the jewelry trade. As co-founder Beth Gerstein explains, “We think that a ring with an ethical history is actually a better suited symbol of love and commitment, especially considering that wedding and engagement rings are worn every day for many, many years.” (Prices range upwards from $275 for a simple band.)
Depending on the theme, style, and budget of your wedding, you can incorporate all sorts of awesome additional activities and libations into the event. One strategy that seemed very appropriate for our city’s love of everything house made is to brew your own beer for the wedding. Local institution SF Brewcraft teaches an introduction to brewing class every Monday, and sells a kit that makes around five
gallons of beer for $130. Expert brewer and winemaker James Davids encourages neophytes to serve their suds to wedding guests, waving off my worries about bottling an inferior batch. “The point isn’t to have the perfect beer, but that you made it yourself. People will love it because you made it for them.”
Another thing people love at weddings are photo booths, and the best of those San Francisco has to offer can be rented from Pika Pika in Japantown. Owner Duane Ong’s Japanese-style photo booths give users the ability to pick from a variety of different backgrounds and then digitally decorate their pictures. What’s more, the photos that print out are actually stickers! The booths are a little pricier than standard ones, starting around $900, but you’re paying for a truly unique record of your wedding and an attendant to help you figure out the controls, which are all in Japanese.
Interested in having your wedding at the California Academy of Sciences? Contact weddings@calacademy.org.
Inquiries about renting out the Sunnyside Conservatory should go to Amanda Lee, who can be reached at Amanda.Lee@sfgov.org or (415) 831–5500.
Try the El Norteño Taco Truck at the corner of Bryant St. and Harriet St. in SOMA, then call Magdalena at (650) 291–7553.
4505 Meats is at the Ferry Building Farmers’ market every Tuesday and you can reach out to Allie via email allie@4505meats.com.
Check out MJ’s Brass Boppers on their Facebook page, then email them at mjbboppers@gmail.com.
Foreverland regularly plays around the Bay. You can reach them at info@foreverlandsf.com or (415) 835–4700.
Fancy dressers will love Aksel Paris’ whole line of menswear, available on the site. For custom suits and shirts appointments contact stylist@akselparis.com or call (888) 99AKSEL.
Lan’s is located at 1546 California St. in Nob Hill, or call (415) 921–2615.
More information about DIY Wedding Ring is on its site, or you can call (415) 505–1623.
Visit Brilliant Earth’s showroom downtown at 26 O’Farrell Street, on the 10th floor, or call (800) 691–0952 to set up a consultation.
SF Brewcraft has the answers to every question about home brewing and winemaking. Visit them at 1555 Clement St.
And the machines at Pika Pika have to be seen to be believed, so go to the store at 1581 Webster St. in Japantown.
