I’ll admit I’ve never really been a fan of Soylent. Aside from the bad name, the mere idea offends me. Take all the good things about eating food — the pleasure, the sensation, the dinner-table discussion — and cut them out. The product suggests an ideology of viewing humans as devices who can be recharged like phones or laptops. Rather than electricity, just add powder.
Then again, maybe I’m just an old fuddy-duddy. I am, after all, 30 — three years older than the inventor of Soylent!—which is ancient by today’s standards. I don’t have a Snapchat or an Instagram account. Why should my opinions matter to today’s marketeers or trendsetters?
Maybe I just don’t know what I’m talking about. Maybe I should ask some kids instead.
“It actually tastes like a bunch of foods but doesn’t have flavor.” — Sophie, 10
Kids! They’re hip to new trends, what with their Nintendoing and their fidget-spinning. My opinions about Soylent are moot, but kids’ opinions—well, today’s empires are built and then die on the fickle feelings of the next generation of consumers.
So that’s exactly what we did: ask the kids. The Bold Italic got a case of Soylent powder, divvied it up and gave it to a bunch of kids. We took pictures and wrote down their reactions. Entrepreneurs, take note!
Aspen, age 11
Appearance:
“
I think it looks a bit like fresh milk — all foamy. It looks good because it looks like warm milk with nutmeg.”
Smell:
“
Like raw dough with a hint of banana and kiwi. And maybe oatmeal with cinnamon.”
Taste:
“
Maybe a bit like two-day-old oatmeal with a little bit of metallic taste to it. Maybe someone added flakes of nickel. Banana and maple syrup? Soy milk.”
Would you drink it again? Is it good?
“
No. If it was a last resort. I would eat it before I ate another person.”
Comments:
“
No comment. But, if you’re allergic to soy, don’t drink it.”
Do you want to finish it?
“
No.”
Sophie, age 10
Appearance:
“
Weird! There are so many bubbles. An unnatural amount of bubbles.”
Smell:
“
Marshmallow? Egg! It’s an average smell. Neither good nor bad.”
Taste:
“
It tastes like nothing. It has no taste. Zero. Wow. It’s like drinking nothing. It feels like there is some taste, I guess. But I have no idea what it is. It makes me feel weird. But it’s kind of satisfying. And the more I drink it, the better it gets. It actually tastes like a bunch of foods but doesn’t have flavor. That doesn’t make sense, but that’s what it is.”
Would you drink it again?
“
Sure. It’s not horrible, but it’s not really good either. If you made me drink it, I wouldn’t get mad. It’s fine.”
Do you want to finish it?
“
Yeah, I’ll finish this cup.”
Jack, age 9
Appearance:
“
It looks like a wet marshmallow. It’s bubbly.”
Smell:
“
It smells like a coconut with raisins, almonds and granola. I think it’s going to taste like boogers and barf.”
Taste:
“
NOOOOO! I cannot try it again. It tastes so bad. It tastes horrible. It tastes like rotten French toast. With a bit of under-salted granola.”
Would you drink it again?
“NO. I would rather drink spinach juice. I would DRINK. SPINACH. JUICE.”
Comments:
“
It’s horrible. I will never taste it again. I want to trick someone into drinking it.”
Do you want to finish the cup?
“
NO.”
Lilah, 7
Appearance:
“It looks like…um…a milk shake and a little bit like milk.”
Smell:
“Smells kinda dough-ish. Like…pizza dough! Any more questions?”
Taste:
“
URRRRRRRRGGGH. [Gurgling sounds] IT. TASTES. DIS-GUST-ING. Milky, watery, no flavor. Doughy-ish.”
Would you drink it again?
[Disgusted gurgling sounds]
Do you want to finish it?
“
Urgh.”
Would you eat this as a food replacement?
“
NO, NO, NO, NO! This is a bad idea. It tastes disgusting!”
Any other comments?
[Gurgling sounds] “Can I spit in this cup?”
Kyra, 9
Appearance:
“
Looks weird. Kind of like a messed-up drinkish thing. Kind of looks like milk.”
Smell:
“It smells like a doughish, smellish thing.”
Taste:
“
It kinda tastes what it smells like. A weird, dough-ish, cold flavor that’s a little watery. It’s really unusual.”
Is it good?
“
I can’t tell. I don’t know. I would like it if it had a little more flavor. It just doesn’t taste so well.”
Would you drink it again?
“
I don’t know. Probably not.”
This drink is supposed to replace food.
“
If it was supposed to replace food, I don’t think it should replace food.”
Do you want to finish it.
“
No.”
Interviews and photographs of Aspen, Sophie and Jack by Alysa Cisneros and Sam Karimzadeh. Interviews and photographs of Lilah and Kyra by Kristi Chan.
