By Abby Wilcox • Design by Rob Shaw
Let’s take a trip down memory lane to our high school days, when we romped like dogs in heat and pounded a few too many beers. Those four years of adolescent bliss culminated into one big event — the senior prom. I remember the excitement (and heckling) around the announcement of the prom king and queen. I didn’t get nominated, probably because I showed up to the dance in a hot pink dress and Dr. Martens boots.
While photographing the contestants for the Mr. Marina charity competition, high school memories kept coming up, because the concept of voting for a “Mr. Marina” sure felt prom king-ish to me. Stereotypes aside (though I did chat with one dude about spray tans), the guys were comical, cute, and genuinely sweet. And they’ve all invested a good bit of energy and time to raising money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s “Slap Cancer, Save Lives” fund.
Who will get the celebrated title of Mr. Marina? The competition was initially slated to kick off at The Parlor (a 400-person capacity), but tickets sold out so quickly — in about two hours — that the venue was changed to the Mezzanine, which holds about double that. Looks like fans of the Mr. Marinas want to be there tonight to witness the crowning of the king.
Years in the Marina: 1
What makes you Mr. Marina?
“On the plane that moved me from Miami to San Francisco, I started chatting up the hot girl sitting next to me. She looked me up and down and said, ‘Ugh, you’re moving into the Marina, aren’t you?’”
Any talents we should know about?
“I used to be able to recite the number pi up to 500 digits (I can still do 100).”
What’s your best Marina shenanigans story?
“I spent close to $1,000 in cab rides back from the Marina to the Stanford campus while in college because I’d always lose whoever drove me by the end of the night.”
Your favorite Marina bar?
“The Brick Yard.”
What’s one thing you’d change about the Marina?
“Extend the 101 freeway up to the Marina so it doesn’t take 25 minutes to get out of the city.”
Years in the Marina:
“More than most marriages.”
Any talents we should know about?
“Yes, but they’re best viewed live.”
What’s your best Marina shenanigans story?
“You’re going to publish this? Once there was a ‘puppy’ stuck in a ‘well’ down by the ‘Presidio.’ Breakfast the next morning was superb.”
Your favorite Marina restaurant?
“Balboa Café. You know exactly what you’re getting — great food, stiff Bloodys, and excellent service. It only gets better with age, which, when you think about it…”
What’s one thing you’d change about the Marina?
“More cupcakes and fro-yo… wait, what? We’ve already hit quota? Then nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
Years in the Marina: 3
Any talents we should know about?
“Can’t give away too much info prior to the contest, but I have some pretty decent dance moves.”
What’s your best Marina shenanigans story?
“My most recent shenanigan was challenging an unnamed San Jose Sharks hockey player to a vodka chugging contest while shirtless. From what I hear it was draw, and we decided that the tie breaker would take place in the form of a friendly cage fight. The date has yet to be set.”
Your favorite Marina hangout?
“When the weather is good, you can’t beat the lawn at Fort Mason. Awesome view of the Golden Gate Bridge and plenty of room to frolic about.”
What’s one thing you’d change about the Marina?
“I would like to see more bars and restaurants with outdoor seating, and maybe another yacht club or two.”
Years in the Marina: 1
What makes you Mr. Marina?
“I’m extremely friendly and everyone knows me.”
Any talents we should know about?
“I’m highly proficient in the game of Beirut.”
What’s your best Marina shenanigans story?
“One Sunday at City Tavern I was approached by a girl who thought I played in the NFL. Being that I was a few drinks in at that point, I decided to tell her that I was on the Niners practice squad and played middle linebacker. This game went on for a good hour and I even gave her an autograph.”
Your favorite Marina bar?
“Bar None. Why would I not go to a bar where I’m on a first name basis with everyone? It feels like Cheers.”
What’s one thing you’d change about the Marina?
“More sunny days in the 70s and 80s. The wind and fog ruins my bronze.”
Years in the Marina: 2
What makes you Mr. Marina?
“The 94123 needlepoint key chain for my convertible sums it up.”
Any talents we should know about?
“I’m good at acquiring puppies for and from the opposite sex.”
Your favorite Marina bar?
“The good folks at The Tipsy Pig named a drink special after me to help me raise money for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. It’s a dead tie with the world famous Balboa Café across the street from my house.”
What’s one thing you’d change about the Marina?
“The inclusion of Lombard Street in general.”
Years in the Marina: 6
What makes you Mr. Marina?
“What doesn’t make me Mr. Marina is the real question.”
Any talents we should know about?
“Friends say I am a professional schmoozer.”
What’s your best Marina shenanigans story?
“I held a daytime party on my apartment roof deck during the Union Street Festival. There were over 200 people that rolled through to enjoy fun in the sun with hosted Bloody Marys and Mimosas. Attendance was at least five times over capacity. The roof sank a few inches due to the crowd, and ladies that wore heels poked holes through the roof. As a result, I almost got evicted.”
Your favorite Marina bar?
“Mauna Loa, simply because they have a Pop-a-Shot and I constantly have the itch to try and pass my personal high score of 108.”
What’s one thing you’d change about the Marina? “Add more buses to the 30x and 41 Muni lines.”
Years in the Marina: 3.5
Any talents we should know about?
“I can suspend a ping pong ball in mid air (comes in handy for in-game beer pong entertainment).”
What’s your best Marina shenanigans story?
“I was at Circa for a good friend’s birthday. The theme of the party was neon and we were fully decked out in our brightest V-necks. After a few hours, we decided to take the party down to Monaghan’s. Instead of walking down to the bar, my roommate Kyle had the idea of leapfrogging down there. This sounded like a completely logical and amazing idea at the time, and we proceeded to leapfrog our way down Chestnut Street. After thinking I had hops like Superman, I missed my hand plant and ended up biffing it. The leapfrog chain was broken. But the day was not ruined and neither was the V-neck.”
Your favorite Marina restaurant?
“Bobo’s — they have the best bone-in ribeye on the planet.”
What’s one thing you’d change about the Marina?
“We need a rooftop or outdoor patio bar! Oh, and cash-only bars … Never understood them.”
Years in the Marina:
“What do you mean? I don’t live there, I just frequent it often.”
What makes you Mr. Marina?
“The expertise I have in sailing my dinghy.”
Your favorite Marina bar?
“The Back Door. Not too many people know about it, but those who do know how tight it is.”
Your favorite Marina restaurant?
“Izzy’s — skirt steak, Cajun prawns, broccoli, and Izzy potatoes… say no more.”
What’s one thing you would change about the Marina?
“More food trucks and street vendors.”
