Update: A memorial for Heklina happened on May 23rd, 2023.
Longtime performer and drag legend Heklina has passed away. Fellow icon Peaches Christ discovered Heklina dead when she went to pick up her friend on Monday in London; the pair were performing the parody Mommy Queerest in Soho. Heklina was 55.
“I am utterly heartbroken, stunned,” Peaches Christ wrote in a post Monday. “Heklina is not just my best friend, but a beloved icon of our community.”
Born Stefan Grygelko, Heklina built her brand with Trannyshack, a long-running revue that began in 1996 and soon reached national notoriety: at least six clubs in New York, Boston, Arizona and Florida attempted to copy the show’s trademarked name in the next decade. She eventually rebranded the revue as Mother in 2014, joining the ranks of Jerry Springer, an awards show, GLAAD and activists who urged others to no longer use the “T” word because of the hurt it caused the trans community.
While those were her national headlines, we knew Heklina locally for so many milestones: for co-founding drag club Oasis in 2015, for her performances at Daytime Realness at El Rio, for her work in popular parodies of The Golden Girls and Sex and the City, and for being a mentor and friend to fellow drag queens, performers, and fans. Many shared their sentiments with The Bold Italic:
“Underneath that loud, bitchy exterior, he really was a warm and sweet guy who wasn’t afraid to take others under his wing or give them a step up,” said Matt Consola, once a San Francisco-based DJ who went on a dinner date with Heklina. “Stefan was shrewd but also big hearted and knew that we have to help out the gen-her-ations that come after us if our art is going to survive and thrive.”
Michael Friedman, a member of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus, remembers Heklina for her “extraordinary talent and enormous influence.”
“Heklina always strived to make everyone feel included, had the raunchiest but most brilliant sense of humor, and she was a fervent supporter of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus,” Friedman told us, noting her recent performances in 2019 and 2022 for the group.
Drag queen Lindsay Slowhands said Heklina helped her get started in San Francisco 14 years ago “in a time where there wasn’t a lot of young new drag queens.”
“Heklina saw my passion and excitement for the art of it all and started giving me opportunities I never imagined. I still remember brainstorming names with her, and when I came up with ‘Hell’a Tight!’ for a 90s-themed party, she loved it,” Slowhands told us. “If it wasn’t for her taking a chance on this teen queen persona, I might not have what I do today, a career doing what I love the most.”
Sarah Tandcredi Newman — a San Francisco-based kindergarten teacher — became friends with Heklina in 2011 during spin class at a 24 Hour Fitness on Church and Market streets.
“She was obviously a comic and could read a room with her humor and wit, but she was also kind and considerate,” Newman told The Bold Italic, adding:
“In 2017, I was pregnant and still going to spin classes. Heklina would check in on me during the class, making sure I had enough water and was hanging in. When my daughter was born, she sent me gift cards to nearby restaurants for my family and I to use. She was an incredible person, friend, and performer.”
Holotta Tymes, who performed alongside Heklina in the The Golden Girls parodies, could only say she was “still at a loss for words” when she messaged The Bold Italic. “Thank you for being a friend, I love you,” Tymes said on Facebook.
“I’ll always be personally grateful for the many opportunities she gave me,” drag queen Elsa Touche said on Facebook, then later in a message to us, “For so many people, her clubs defined queer alt nightlife in the 90s and into the 2000s, and beyond. She could be rather acerbic — it was part of her charm — but she was fundamentally a very kind person.”
Famous drag queen Coco Peru remembers Heklina as “a wonderful friend, and I told her often that I wish I had met her earlier in my life.”
“We communicated nearly every day and nothing made me happier than making her cackle,” Peru said in a post. “Heklina, I loved and adored you, and my only comfort right now is in knowing that I told you that often.”
Saul Sugarman is editor in chief of The Bold Italic.
