Living in the Bay Area can sometimes feel…disorienting. Maybe your tech job destroys your weekends. Maybe you pay more than half of your monthly income on rent. Maybe you’re worried that you’ll never be able to leave the city because of your rent-controlled apartment. Well, tilt your chin down, hunch your shoulders, and get your preferred double-tapping finger ready. Here are five California Instagram accounts to follow so you can feel like your own life isn’t that ridiculous after all.
@ca_organic
Ever wondered what Ice Cube would look like if he were drawn out of weed resin? Look no further than the official account of Los Angeles Kush — a weed shop based in our SoCal neighbor. I don’t know enough about weed to comment any further on this account without sounding too much like the former Idaho Church girl that I am, but this dude sculpted a scorpion out of resin, and if that’s not straight up ridiculous, then what am I doing here?
@hotcookiesf
OK, so this first one is the most ridiculous thing, but in the best way possible. Hot Cookie is a bakery in the Castro with an Instagram account full of dicks. Literally. Their cookies and baked goods come in the form of naked-lady busts and penises, and if you keep scrolling through their feed, you’ll catch a few handsome men in the signature Hot Cookie briefs and nothing else. Let’s be real — what makes anyone happier than a sweet little something in their mouth?
@rkoi
Rich Kids of Instagram makes the “you won’t believe these posts” circuit every now and again. It’s a fantastic continued demonstration in the lunacy that is unchecked wealth at a young age. While @rkoi isn’t specifically a California account, if you’re willing to torture yourself enough to dig into the specific accounts tagged in each photo, you’ll most likely find the most ridiculous rich kid on Instagram near you (if you can stand to look that long — I couldn’t).
@barbiestyle
Because nothing is going to make you feel better at this point, you may as well bemoan the fact that a child’s toy has a cooler Instagram account than you do. It wasn’t enough that Barbie tortured us as prepubescents with her minuscule waist and ample bosom. With her image revamped to be more realistic, she’s simply switched to maintaining an unfair standard of social media perfection. While you’re here, poke around in the #dollphotography tag. You’ll thank me later.
@californiaherps
Go ahead and tell me what you think this one is for solely on the basis of its name. Great. Now, I can call you a gutter-brained doofus, because it’s the account for the North American Field Herping Association, which is essentially a group of people who find reptiles and amphibians (herptiles) in the wild. Don’t knock it, buddy — maybe we could all try indulging in the joy of something as simple as finding a snake on the side of the road.
